makinglies | Respite

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faerun

Respite

The lake is dark and calm with a small breeze by the time they arrive at its shores. The stars above reflect perfectly in the still waters before them, and a small copse of trees lines one side, starting on their side of the river and jumping along the other side.

Chris takes a moment to re-prepare the spell he hadn't been able to cast in five years and gestures vaguely to the area around them as a suggestion for what the others can do. Gathering in the forest, sitting on a nearby over-turned log, it didn't matter to him. What he needed was an hour without interruption.

He settles down on the ground and presses his hands together as he closes his eyes to focus on the image in his mind. Within minutes, the white, shimmering outline of a large building forms in thin air. The gentle glow of its light barely spreads from the growing structure.

As promised, it takes the full hour before the slowly filling-in form is complete and finishes with a jaunty, echoing click.

Chris takes a breath, now sitting in front of the stoop that looks annoyingly like the one he'd passed earlier in the night, and gets back onto stiff legs as the glow fades away, leaving smooth, but otherwise unremarkable, white stone behind.

"Here we are. Home for the next however long we need. I'll start working on food and water next." Once they're inside, anyway, which is why he takes back his things from where he'd left them and leads them into the temple, marked only with the carving of ravens on the black wood of the double doors.

Inside is something just shy of opulence. The same polished white stone makes the walls, though black and gold veins course through the marble. The floor is the inverse, a black stone with white, shimmering speckles like a night sky if looked at for long enough. A single window faced East high up on the wall. The temple was alight with sconces at regular intervals along the walls, illuminating an open area that held all the offerings of comfort Chris could think of.

A large hot-springs-like bath, complete with a miniature waterfall, took up the left side of the room and ran into a smaller, similar bath at dog-height. Next to it, covered by a retractable screen, was a shower. Along the back wall, a raven's head emblazoned the white wall in black and watched out over a set of tables, chairs, and a couple of sofas. The majority of the center was clear for walking, but the right edge and right side of the room held a deeply inset pit of pillows, cushions, and blankets in various soft (black and purple) fabrics.

Finally, in the middle of the right-hand wall, there were two closed doors that, when inspected, revealed one room with a large, soft chair and rug, while the other room was made of nothing but stone with jars, pitchers, and plates on shelves along two walls and a cork wall perfect for catching daggers on the other side.

"I hope it works for everyone. I didn't...I didn't make separate bedrooms this time. I didn't figure we would need them tonight."

♥

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"Likely that he's upset and needs to feel like he's doing something." Jon leans harder against Wolfe as he resettles himself, shifting so that his legs are on the sofa, tucked up next to him, and Wolfe is providing a support on the other side. "He's not an idiot. He'll likely either watch to hurt himself or disguise himself and keep to the edges of the city. Do you really think he's going to waltz up to the Guardians and announce his presence?"

"No, of course not, but they're likely running all over the place tending to their land and their people. There's no guessing where they'll be at any given moment. Chris likely remembers where he was - is - but that doesn't account for all the rest." So much of Wolfe wants to run off and be there to defend his love, but there isn't... really a threat. It feels like there is, but even if one if the Guardians spots Chris it's not likely to turn into a confrontation immediately, and Chris is more than capable of handling himself. Usually.

Wolfe will just have to trust him. Especially with Jon shoved into him like a begrudging cat. Its calming, having the weight of another person against him, and Wolfe tries to make himself settle down. "...He will call for us if he needs us, won't he?"

There's a long pause. "He can send, I suppose, but what are you going to do? We don't have cars or teleporters. And you can't run for miles in an instant. It took us more than an hour to get here. Even granting you could sprint back there, you'd be 20 minutes, at least.

"I'm the paranoid one, remember? There's literally nothing we can do at the moment if something does go awry. That's not worth agonizing over. Now turn to page 3 and read off the second sentence for me, please."

"Its very frustrating when you're right," Wolfe grousses, but does as he's bid, opening the book to page three. It would be the continuing story of his life if they got here and then something happened to Chris. He tries not to think about it, instead deciding to put faith in his partner and in his friend.

Thankfully, his drive to learn the language and to impress Chris when (when!) he returns, helps to keep Wolfe engaged. He's going to be able to carry a small conversation by the end of the day, Gods willing.

It's some time well into the study session going on that Amelia makes her way out of the room she'd barricaded herself in. A few of her knives need sharpening, the cutting board she'd grabbed from the kitchen is destroyed, and one of the chairs in that room can no longer be used for its intended purpose. She's still on edge, still angry and with her thoughts trying to spiral, but she's caught her breath and isn't going to snap at anyone who approaches. Immediately, anyway.

She wishes again with those stupid, dreamsforsaken wishes that she had supplies for embroidery, something mindless to occupy her hands that she couldn't cut herself on. It doesn't matter, of course, because needs must and her knives must be in the best shape possible for tomorrow's trip into the Shadowfell.

Her footsteps are quiet, but the drop of her knives onto the table is not and Patience's footsteps beside her as she walks across the temple aren't either. Weapons deposited, she takes a moment to let the girls out of the temple, taking care to stay just inside the door while they run about to relieve themselves and stretch their legs. It gives her another moment to breathe and fortify herself against the inevitable question she knows is coming in one form or another: How are you feeling?

Like some kind of hell. She's well-rested and still tired in ways that go beyond the physical. Ways she doesn't know if she can address without things she doesn't think she'll get when several conversations need to be had before she can have them. Or the kind of space she can't have when they all need to stay close and be ready for tomorrow. She can't run through the woods, driving knives into trees or hunting more game. She can't spar with Chris or Wolfe and expect anything after that will soothe the inevitable fire in her blood. She can't do anything of use. No one needs her to but her, and that just makes her feel worse.

The disquiet in her stomach isn't helping. Dreams, one good meal that's like what she remembers from 'her' world and her body is rejecting it? This couldn't come at a worse time.

Amelia stays by the door as the girls return, welcoming Cookie in with a pet to the top of her head and a few scritches behind one ear. Patience gets a single pet after the rogue rolls up a sleeve as she takes up a watch just outside the door, nose pointed South as she waits, or so Amelia assumes, for Chris to return.

Edited 2025-11-09 05:15 (UTC)

The sound of the knives on the table is what pulls Wolfe from his and Jon's study. He glances out the open door, then to Jon, who takes the cue and shifts his weight away from Wolfe so he's not as ensconced and can get himself up off the couch. He does with some effort, grunting softly when his knees crack as he stands. A good stretch and Wolfe gives a grateful nod to Jon as he leaves the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Cookie trots over after her afternoon constitutional, expecting head pats from master as she did her mistress. Wolfe obliges, scratching behind her ears, but his gaze is on Amelia.

"Hey," he says softly, in the tone that belies he has an apology to give. At least it also means he realizes he hasn't been listening, and is ready to start.

"Hey." She keeps her voice quiet, not wanting to invite anyone into the conversation they're about to have. Part of her wants to tell him to save whatever is on his mind for later, but what good would that do? If they have to talk, better to do it when there's fewer people to intrude.

She takes a deep breath as she turns to him, letting down her sleeve again and not bothering with a smile when she's not feeling it. "Something on your mind?" It certainly sounds like it.

He thought this would be easier now that his mind is clearer and his anxiety having settled somewhat, but faced with Amelia's very stoic demeanor, he quails somewhat, guilt and shame rising up in him. He tamps it down, frustrated that he should feel this way with either of his partners. This isn't right, and he has to fix it.

"I wanted to apologize," he steps towards her, standing less than an arms length away but not crowding. "I've been distant with you, and not listened when you've said many times that you need something to do or focus on thats tangible. I owe you an explanation too, if youre in a place to hear it, but the more important thing to me is that you know I'm sorry and I want to make it right for you in whatever way I can."

He moved his hand as if to take hers but pauses, giving a look to her face to see if she wants that or wants him to keep his distance. The latter will hurt, but he would deserve it for how he's been lately.

He hesitates and she isn't certain how to feel about that. The space is appreciated, but Wolfe not closing the distance and reaching out? After pushing her away several times since they got to the temple? Her chest tightens and eyes well up as if someone punched hard in the ribs and into a wall.

Why is everything so much harder right now? Why does it feel like all the progress they made with each other in Duplicity has been erased?

She offers him a hand to hold because she needs to know he still wants to touch her. She needs to know he still loves her by feeling him do something that's so commonplace for him that she can push aside all of her doubts, just for a moment.

"I'm listening." She doesn't offer forgiveness yet as she wants to hear his explanation of why he's been this way with her. It's unlikely he'll tell her she's at fault, but the thought exists in her mind and won't be silenced until she hears his truth. Her eyes meet his as she waits for him to fully reach for her. "If it gets to be too much, I'll tell you."

She offers her hand and thats all the sign he needs to take it in his and hold on for dear life. He has to be careful not to squeeze too hard.

"I'm so sorry, Love," he starts, forcing himself to meet her eyes when he wants to bow his head. "I know you want to focus on us, on me, and I haven't let you out of a misguided belief it wouldn't help. I focused on you too much, put too much pressure on you to figure things out when there is so much else to worry about... its unfair. I was unfair to you, and its not the first time. I'm so sorry."

Worrying his lower lip for a moment, he brings his other hand around so he can touch Amelia's fingers with both. "I... I want you so badly. You and Chris both, I want to be in contact with the both of you constantly so I-I know you're both actually here, but I'm afraid of smothering you. I'm afraid of doing something for the wrong reasons or at the wrong time or keeping you from feeling or doing what you need to because you're too focused on me. But that's very selfish in its own right, isn't it."

The breath he lets sounds like the echo of a sob and he swallows it back instead, trying to steel himself. "I never ment to make you feel useless or unimportant, Amelia. You're the complete opposite of that. I can't seem to function properly without you."

It's an odd thing, hearing him tell her something much like she said last night with the same conviction she had as she sobbed against him while tucked into his side.

'I'm not myself without you anymore.'
"I can't seem to function properly without you."

It hurts, too, knowing he feels similar and has been so afraid of doing her wrong that he kept her at arms' length. Things are so much worse for him than he's let on if he's questioning himself like this, if he's questioning what she or Chris want to do for him because of it. But he admits his faults and what he's done, and there's nothing in her to be angry about it. With everything out in the open between them, they can make amends and start moving forward together. Isn't that what matters most? Isn't that what she wants above all else?

She cautiously draws him closer by their joined hands, reaching up with her free one to touch his face. She wants so desperately to tell him she forgives him with a kiss, but holds back. They have to talk about a few things before she can say what she really wants - 'Love me the way you used to, please.' - so she starts with the most necessary words.

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me. You would never choose that, just as I would never choose it in reverse. I'm hurting and I miss you so much, but I know you meant well and didn't want to make things worse." Even if her heart aches in a way that feels like it's worse, she knows it's not. "I forgive you for all of it, but can we... can we talk about what we both want from one another? Please? I want to be with you again and I don't want to keep feeling like we'll never get there."

Maybe that's her loneliness and lingering grief talking. Maybe it's the desperate pull of thwarted moments haunting her. Hells, it might even be some lingering need for them to fall into bed together like they said they would when he crossed the planes to find her. Whatever it is, she needs them to break through it because she is desperate to have him back completely after all the shit they've been through.

If she feels like they'll never get there, he's done more to wrong her than he thought. Wolfe turns his face to kiss her hand, eyebrows drawn up in worry. "Can I tell you first? Or do you want to get it out?"

He doesn't know which will be better, he just knows both are going to hurt. "Gods know I miss you, too. I've been so lonely even with you right there..."

"I've been so lonely too, even when I know, I know that's unfair to us both." It's only been a day since they got each other back; nothing can be solved or settled yet when he was ripped away from his life without recourse. She shouldn't be expecting anything or assuming things will even be the same as they were before.

She brushes her thumb across his cheek as she nods. "I'll listen first. I... I need a moment to pull my thoughts together." Otherwise she might cry and distract him with tears that aren't his fault.

He replies with a brief nod and hugs her gently over to the table to sit down. He sits, anyway; he doesn't make her do the same.

"When they take people, they keep them in a sort of... Holding area. It takes some time for people to fade away and so LIEs does what they always do and has everyone have as much sex as possible before they're no longer of use. There's no pretense anymore, they just pump people full of aphros and shove them in a room." He knows he's separating himself from what happened by saying 'they' and 'people' instead of 'I' and 'me', but in order to not be overwhelmed, this is how he has to tell it because for the next part he has no choice.

"I didn't even really... I hallucinated while I was there, so I don't remember who any of it was with. I imagined you and Chris. That's all I remember, sleeping with one or both of you and then waking up to neither of you there. To the knowledge that you never had been and that I would probably never see either of you again."

He swallows, holding her hand tightly enough his fingers are trembling. He lowers his head, forehead gently bumping her stomach. "I did and you're here and I want nothing more than to love you the way I always have... But then I'll wake up in an empty room with three other empty beds and nothing but the sound of my own broken heart beeping away on a monitor."

She appreciates not being asked to sit because the heavy way he moves makes her nervous. Not for what he's about to say but for how it so clearly affects him. It's easier for her to hold his hand and cradle him against his chest when she stands at his side, to protect him from thinking what was done to him makes her love or want him any less than she does. It doesn't make it easier to take in the gruesome details of what they did to him or what he imagined to survive the literal sexual torture he was subjected to.

LIEs is lucky they're gone from Duplicity or she would have burned the whole fucking city to the ground for this. Between her, Chris, and Jon, they would've made the city long for the simple mess of the Creator's mansion over what the city would've become.

Her tone stays soft and comforting as she runs her fingers through his hair, the touch always ending with a brush of her thumb across his neck; an extra half second of contact that they both likely need more than words could describe. "You worry that all this - our escape, Faerun, the temple, the vials, all of us - is just another painfully beautiful dream?" Something to bolster his heart against the next round of torture that will inevitably come. She frowns softly, drawing her fingertips from his neck to his chin but not asking him to look up at her. This is difficult enough and if he doesn't want to face her or thinks he can't, she won't make him.

"I'm sorry you went through that, love. No one should have to. Our memories... I'm glad you were able to help yourself by envisioning us, but Wolfe--" Here she does try to encourage his eyes to hers. "We're not some projection of your mind. Chris and I would never force you into anything you didn't want, and you've asked us to wait and it's why we have. We're here with you, just as Jon and all the girls, four-legged or flying, are. How can I help you feel that and settle your heart where it belongs - with us and not trapped in the city we left behind?"

"I know its not. Logically, I know there are too many complications and worries for it not to be real, but we've been tricked so many times I can't get it out of my head. And it isn't just that," he looks up at her finally, chin resting against her instead of his forehead. "I want you more than ever but what if its for the wrong reason? What if it's because I'm just... conditioned to want sex all the time now? Part of me wants to make sure I can still control myself."

It sounds so idiotic when he says it aloud that a faint flush creeps up the back of his neck. "It's ridiculous, but it won't leave me..."

It's a fair worry. If all one knows for a time is to have something they enjoy in the worst or wrong ways, it's difficult to transition back to having it simply because they want it. Because it's with her, though, she has an idea to help him through this.

"It's not ridiculous, not in the least." She smiles softly at him, cupping the back of his neck as another physical reminder of her presence. "But what if we choose to do this together? What if we choose each other because of love? No fighting to stir up want, no teasing or flustering until we can't resist anymore. Just us, alone or with Chris if he wants to join us, where we take things slow and speak often about how much we've missed and still love each other. We can share the smiles and joy but also the awkwardness from remembering the steps of our dance but being out of practice. We can laugh with each other, even cry if we need to." Dreams know she will the first time they make love.

A beat, and she ducks her head for a moment, cheeks flushing a light pink. "You'll have to go slow for me no matter when we do this. The one forced encounter aside, I haven't been with anyone since they took you. I'll need to be properly eased into having you again." His girth was never an issue when they were with each other several times a week, but it's going to take time to get back to that kind of familiarity.

That sounds wonderful and his heart flutters in his chest at the thought. No pressure, no desperation, no second guessing. Just them, at their own pace, with their own desires of how it goes. Sex again as an expression of love and affection and not desperation or imprisonment.

He watches her face as she says this, his own expression softening from sorrow to ease. How simple it is for her to come up with something immediately that will help them both. Nothing forced, not anything they need to work through with hardship, just them figuring it out with patience and support. Together.

Flames, he hopes Chris will see it that way too. It would be wonderful to show them how much they've been missed together, but he doesn't want to push too hard when Chris said he needs a couple of days. Will that be alright with Amelia, if he asks that the first time for their new lives be with the both if them?

Then she makes her comment on his size and he can't help but look up into her face, as taken aback as he is flattered. "No one? Really?"

"Aside from the once after the SLUT Center, which was..." She trails off, not wanting to bring up again how it was after her breakdown over it earlier. Instead she shakes her head a little and offers a slightly rueful smile. "I didn't want to be with anyone for weeks after. And then the few times I thought that maybe I could, I was scared to take the chance. I didn't want it to be--" A huffed laugh. "I didn't want it to be for the wrong reasons, like being covered in aphro'd paint or having been to the SLUT Center. The people I thought about deserved me wanting them for them, just as you want for yourself now."

It's why offering this suggestion to him is so easy. Yes, they could have had sex multiple times already and she would have been glad for it. But they didn't because the moment wasn't right and that means they can do this their way, for love and to be complete again, nothing more and nothing less.

"We're really very similar in a lot of ways, aren't we," he chuckles a little, tugging on her just slightly, enough so she knows he'd like her to sit in his lap, but she's not obligated.

Either way, he kisses her hand again, this time pressing his lips to her knuckles as one would for royalty. "You're amazing. How you settle my heart so quickly... Gods, I'm a fool for not having talked with you about it from the beginning."

She settles into his lap readily when tugged, arm encircling his neck as if this were a night at Shadows' Rest and not in a temple made by their cleric on their first full afternoon in Faerun. It's not lost on her that they've once again found their way here after a difficult conversation rather than something easy or nice. Their lives are always going to be like this, aren't they?

So long as she doesn't become a problem now that she has no past.

With a slightly too heavy exhale, she forces the thought down and leans close to kiss his forehead. "Everything has been difficult since we got here. We need time to settle," to figure out who she is, "and find our feet. I wish it had been easier to get here, but I'm glad we have all the same." She nuzzles her forehead to his and doesn't pull away.

"You should talk to Chris, too, when you're both ready for it. He deserves to know what's in your heart and your head the same as I do."

"I did, a little. Not... exactly this, though. I should tell him," and he will. If anything, this conversation with Amelia has proved to him that even if its hard, it will only help.

He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling her forehead against his but feeling that heaviness in her too. He also needs to listen. Not everything is solved, no matter how much better he feels. "Talk to me, Love. You're still having dark thoughts. Can I help?"

This, too, is something familiar that she needs even when it twists her into complicated and painful knots. Wolfe's gentle nudges and listening ear are important to her, always have been, though right now they catch on edges she's not ready to grind down. Tomorrow requires her to be as sharp and hard as she's ever been, and if she falls apart now she's not certain she'll be ready to stand tall. That, and she doesn't even know where to start.

"Not yet, but that's not your fault. I have too many thoughts about how we got here and what it means, and if I start to pull at them I might fully unravel before it's safe to do so." She smiles ruefully to herself. "I need us to get through tomorrow in the Shadowfell before I can try. Please, give me a little time. I already feel lighter from having talked to you about us and finding our way back to each other. The rest... For me, it has to wait, at least for a few days." Then, maybe, she can have her existential crisis in peace.

The urge to push is there, but she's doing as they've found works for them and giving him a time when he can bring it up again. Instead of worry and disappointment, its a quiet pride that comes into his expression when he kisses her forehead.

"Alright, thats very fair. I'd never forgive myself if my pushing at you meant you were devoured by zombies anyway," he tells her, almost as a joke, though the words themselves are true. There's no way his Amelia Royer, with all her skill with blades, could ever be bested by a few zombies.

"Do you think we should talk to Chris before or after?" More like should be talk to Chris about what happened to him before or after. Anything physical will need to wait, out of respect for Chris' own boundaries.

"If he's willing to talk about this, then I'm willing to talk tonight. If he wants to wait for any reason, then we wait." They'll have plenty of time to talk while they're on the road to their next stop to being added to the Weave. Even if it means she has to douse herself in the coldest water or darkest thoughts imaginable to keep herself from reaching for Wolfe, she will.

"I don't want to rush things for any of us. I..." She huffs a tense, self-deprecating breath. "It may be difficult to hold back how much I want to be with you, but I can and I will. Chris deserves to know the truth and hear what I've proposed for us before any of us do anything we could regret."

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cw: dubcon/noncon, altered mental state

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