makinglies | New York State of Mind

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New York State of Mind

It's been nearly a month and only now does Albert have his head on straight again. It took a near-death experience to do it, but in those moments he'd thought were his last when all the things he regrets went running the 'this is your life' marathon through his head one stuck out in particular. And that one is in a seventh story apartment that looms large and foreboding in the mid-autumn drizzle.

He pockets the scrap of paper he'd been clutching, address on it long since memorized. He should just go up there and say his piece. Most likely Jet will kick him right back to the street again. As well he should. Albert hadn't exactly been the model partner in the time they'd spent together. His heart had been in it, but the rest of him still quailed, afraid to get too invested, afraid that he would screw it all up regardless. At least if he didn't try then he could blame the failure on that. But that's not fair to Jet, and if he were honest not fair to himself either. He knows that now, that in his heart of hearts he's already invested. The things he's frightened of doing are the very things he wants more than anything. Jet, more than anyone else, makes him feel human.

Screwing up his courage, Albert walks right up to the door of the apartment building, then turns away and strides to the corner of the block instead, shoulders hunched against the freezing mist. He needs something first. He's not stalling. Really.

It's relatively slim pickings in the little bodega on the corner but Albert manages to pull several small bouquets into one large one. Roses and baby's breath might be a little cliche, but it's what they have and it's hopefully a gesture Jet will appreciate, especially since it cost Albert an entire day's worth of spending money. Not that it matters. If it softens Jet for even a moment, it'll be worth it.

If.

He stops on his trek back up the block, staring at the flowers as if they'd suddenly start speaking to him. It's too much, isn't it? Roses? That's what he would always do for Hilda when she was cross with him, buy her flowers or jewelry, but Jet isn't Hilda. He'd never thought of Jet as Hilda, of course, but flowers seem such a feminine gift...

No, it's fine. It'll be fine. Who doesn't like flowers?

Halfway up the stairs he wonders if maybe Jet doesn't like flowers, or he'll throw them back in Albert's face for trying to treat him like 'some broad'.

Two thirds of the way back down he kicks himself mentally to just do it, damnit! Stop being such a coward! He'll either like them or not but the flowers aren't the point. The point is he's here, he'll apologize from the bottom of his heart, and Jet will take him back.

Well, ideally Jet will take him back.

He's already in front of the apartment door when that nagging voice in the back of his head tauntingly asks how often things are ever ideal. He paces once, twice in front of the door, mouth a thin and troubled line cutting across his face as he hems and haws, trying to reconcile what he hopes will happen with what's more likely.

Just do it!!

He knocks, heart in his throat.

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The laughter is short lived as he doesn't want Albert to get the wrong idea, but the smile remains even after he's quiet again.

The teen moved closer to his somewhat retreated partner and grabbed him by the shirt collar to pull him in for another enthusiastic kiss. When he breaks away, his face is still colored, but he tries to cover it with that smirk.

"This is fine. You on--um..on top, I mean. Just as long as I can see you." And touch you. "Besides...aren't you the kind of guy who likes to be in charge all the time? Wouldn't want to throw you off." They could figure things out later, maybe switch things around on occasion. Right now, he wanted things simple.

Kissing. Kissing is good. They know where they are with that. And then Jet's answering and Albert's flooded with relief that he hadn't ruined the moment by asking. He brings his still glove-clad right hand up to brush Jet's bangs from his face with all due affection. "I like to think I know when to let go of the reins, but if that's what you want..."

If that's what Jet wants then he'll provide. He runs his fingers through that feathery hair again and leans in for another kiss, this time letting both hands wander and find the top of Jet's pants at the back, left hand slipping between waist and hem to palm along soft skin and grab a little squeeze as his other arm circles Jet's lower back to press them flush together. All through this, Albert never once breaks the kiss. He knows he's being fairly aggressive and if Jet seems at all uncomfortable he'll back off, but hearing Jet wants him on top, wants him inside... well, he'd be lying if he said it didn't excite him.

The instant response sends a few nervous ribbons flying and he focuses back on responding to Albert's actions. Whereas the touch to his face had been affectionate and gentle, this was aggressive and lustful and it was turning Jet on like nothing else.

As soon as those arms are around him, his arms are around Albert, one of his hands pressing against his back as if he could drive away the nonexistent distance between them, while the other slid into soft silver hair, alternating between petting and gripping only tight enough to be noticed.

That probing hand, however, pulls a sound from him and he breaks the kiss with a hiss, though his lips don't stray far before falling on the German's jaw and neck, anything he can find.

This is different. They'd done some intense kissing, but this was more physical and a lot further along than just making out and while there was still that anxious thrum in the back of his mind at the unknown of it all, it went hand-in-hand with a rush of excitement and anticipation.

Neck, oh God Jet went for his neck and Albert can't help the moan from deep in his throat, almost felt more than heard at the feeling of Jet's lips on his entirely too sensitive neck. It pulls a squirm out of him, a buck in his train of thought, and an unintentional squeeze of the hand on Jet's rear. It's much rougher than he'd intended but he'll be damned if it doesn't feel nice.

It would feel nicer without the pants in the way.

With another short squeeze, he pulls his hands back, somehow managing to arch his body away from Jet just enough to get at the fly of his jeans without bringing his throat away from the younger man's questing tongue and lips. He moans again, fumbling for the zipper without being able to see it since he's unwilling to pull away for even that much, a shiver shooting up his spine and setting his eyes very briefly rolling back in his head.

If Jet never leaves his neck alone, he could die happy.

That wasn't the reaction he was expecting, but it was a welcome one. So, this was one of those spots for Albert. Dueley noted.

His hold tightens on the older man's back and his other hand finds it's way out of silver hair to grip at Albert's shoulder: all in an effort to not lose the contact getting that kind of reaction from his partner.

His attentions grow more aggressive and he adds tongue and teeth to the mixture of lips, resulting in a dance of slick tongue, stinging bites, and gentle caresses of soft lips. He wanted to see how far he could get with this, just how crazy he could drive his partner.

The hand not holding him to Albert's body dove down to help by undoing the zipper and button himself, eager to remove the now annoying fabric. As his teeth leave a long scrape right across a newly delivered hickey, he does his best, at his angle, to start pushing the remaining clothing off.

"Haa..."

It's more of a pant than a noise, but it's pulled from Albert just the same as Jet's teeth mark him and that tongue tries to sooth the abused skin. Even as he haphazardly helps Jet remove the last layers separating his body from the air, Albert's eyes stay closed, feeling and grasping, running his hands everywhere he can reach until all of Jet is uncovered for him to touch.

Palms run along sides to waist to hips and down to thighs, one naked and the other clad in leather but both pressing and kneading at the muscle in Jet's legs, creeping from out to in and up until his fingers play around every centimeter of flesh safe for where he truly wants to, the very thought giving him visions to fight of simply giving into his primal want and overwhelming Jet, mental images of taking him in one fell swoop, hips to ass and arms tight around each other with soft whispers of affection to spur them both on to completion. It's a thought he's had more than once.

And now...

He'll go slower than that, gentler, but he wants so badly for the result to be the same. Sweet nothings, his arms protectively holding the lithe man beneath him. He indulges in that at least, one arm snaking around Jet's waist and bracing up his back to pull him close while the other hand cautiously pets at Jet's arousal as if he'll be rebuked.

"Albert..." It comes out as a moan against the skin of the man's neck, his hips moving a bit in his desire for more of that contact. "You don't have to be that gentle, you know, you're touching like I'm gonna break or something." His face heated and he buried it under Albert's chin. "I want more."

In an effort to partially distract from the embarrassing admission, his teeth scrapped lightly over adam's apple and down to the dip in the older man's clavicle, the hand not still holding them together sliding down to slip under the hem of his partner's shirt, fingers idly tracing the skin just beneath it.

Teeth on his throat makes Albert swallow and melt against Jet, his hand curling more tightly around his prize and sliding up. Once. And then he freezes entirely, cold coiling in the pit of his stomach, spreading from the muted feel of Jet's fingers against his waist, playing just near the seam of where his real skin ends and his synthetic skin begins.

It's a curious change from how excited he'd been just a moment ago, all flushed and panting and full of want. Now he's a veritable statue, completely frozen in place with a pained look that comes from nowhere physical. He lets go, snagging Jet's hand with the limb already between them. "Don't. Please, just-"

He swallows again, this time not to kill a moan but to stall for how to explain. Nothing comes. "I know it's silly, but please just leave it."

Jet freezes when Albert does, his first thought being along the lines that he'd messed up somewhere, but once the explanation--if it could be called that-- was there, he knew he had and he hadn't. He'd done something to make Albert uncomfortable, yes, but it wasn't his fault, either.

He pulled his hand away and out of Albert's grip, but only to let it rest back at the nape of the older man's neck. He understood why, that wasn't what his momentary silence was sprouting from, it was the how to respond part of it.

Albert was one of the most heavily modified of their group and it showed; not all of his cybernetics could be covered with the synth skin like what was on Jet's legs, some parts of Albert were just hard metal. While Jet had never seen any of the German's limbs as anything but just that, he knew it was only like that on his end. Jet saw arms and legs, Albert saw weapons and methods of destruction.

It was one of the things Jet had silently promised to try and do for his partner: get him to see how Jet saw him and to at least accept that, if not see himself that way too. But they weren't there yet.

The arm that had been latched around Albert's shoulders carefully moved down so his hand could grab hold of the German's upper right arm, his lips gently finding that jawline again for just a moment. "Yeah. It's okay."

Admittedly, it hurt a little bit, to be completely bare to the other man and know it would only be one-sided, he'd always put a high value on touch and body against body was pretty high up on that list. But he also didn't want to push the other man away now that he had him back, he'd just have to hope they could work past it with time.

He'd have to contend himself with touches over clothing. Unfortunately for the fabric. "...but if I rip something cause you didn't get it out of my way, it's not my fault." It's said low and with the tone of someone who's trying to make a joke when not really in a joking mood, but he was trying.

He sort of just wanted them to get back to business.

Embarrassment spreads over Albert's face but he gives a bit of a chuckle at Jet's joke, glad his deepest hangup hadn't entirely ruined the evening. It had ruined the mood though, or at least dampened it. He can see in Jet's eyes his struggle to be okay with it even though Albert can tell the younger man want's them both skin to skin. There's a part of Albert that wants that too, but he can't. He doesn't have real skin to touch, not in most places.

Kisses silence those dour thoughts, Albert leaning in and pressing his lips to Jet's sweetly. At least at first. The first chaste kiss turns more heated and invasive quickly, Albert's tongue seeking Jet's and coiling against it, hands again running their way along the sides of those narrow hips, the curve of his ass, palming and claiming each inch as if to make up for every bit of Albert he can't bring himself to show in turn.

It doesn't take long for Albert's kisses to go sloppy, to miss Jet's mouth and pepper his chin and jaw and neck, teeth skating the skin there as the German uses his index finger to trace firmly around Jet's entrance, a silent warning to prepare the American before said finger presses in very carefully with almost teasing slowness.

Hands on him sends a wave a relief, For one moment, he'd thought Albert might just call the whole thing off. He was glad to be wrong.

But then his thoughts were swept away again by the warmth spreading in his veins with every kiss. His eyes close as he tilts his head back a bit to make his neck more accessible; it didn't have the same powerful affect on Jet that it did on Albert, but damn if it didn't feel nice.

But even that pleasant distraction couldn't pull his attention away from the feeling of Albert's finger entering him. His body went as tense as a bowstring on instinct; it didn't hurt, but he might as well be a virgin for how used to it his body was.

He focused on relaxing himself and leaned up to kiss Albert's chin. "The drawer...on the bedside table, under the book, it'll help." Yeah, there was a book in his side table drawer that he was voluntarily reading, some fantasy novel he'd found intriguing, but his secret was safe with his partner, at least. Besides, it hid the small bottle he wanted to keep from prying young boys eyes, should he find his neighbor got a little too curious poking around.

Just like that Albert freezes up again, more than a little concerned at what he'd been about to do. The last thing he'd ever want to do is hurt Jet but he'd gotten carried away - and so quickly! - to the point where he'd just been thinking of being inside the younger man in any way he could fathom.

He's already panting as he gropes sightlessly for the drawer, shoulder dipping so his arm can reach and making it difficult to place the kisses and nips and mumbled apologies he insists on continuing to pepper Jet with. He won't stop, maybe even can't stop now that he's come so far. He's afraid of backing down, terrified of being found inadequate in this because it's been so long and he's already disappointed his partner once. He has to make it good even if his hands tremble and it takes him two tries to snag the bottle.

It's a moment before he does anything with the bottle. A moment filled with a long, heated kiss, languid and loving but still rough, full of every shred of want that drove Albert to the state he's in, a little addled and unsure of everything save for the knowledge that this is exactly where he wants to be. Even if he's frightened that he'll do something to have it all come crashing down, he's still secure in knowing this is where he belongs regardless. Where they belong. Whether he'd given it freely or not, Jet has his heart now.

He slinks out of the kiss, sitting up in a slow motion and taking a moment to admire the shape of him, to take in where Jet flushes when he's excited, just how his hair falls to try and hide his eyes but Albert can always tell what face he's making regardless. How even though he's thin and long and lanky, with sharp elbows and defined hips, Albert still has him firmly in mind as soft and warm, somehow still welcoming to him despite the prickly outer shell.

The lube is nothing fancy and cold when he coats his fingers in it. There's little he can do about that, having no body heat with which to warm it. Sterling silver eyes try to meet whisky brown as Albert leans over Jet again. "It's cold. Is that ok?" Though frankly he's not sure what to do if it's not.

He wants to just hold Albert in place and get it through his head that everything's fine, that Jet trusts him. He wishes he could've explained everything before now, about why he'd be insistent on the lube for a little while at least, but why there might be any hesitation at all in Jet's demeanor, about why there was a squirming anxiousness in his stomach at the thought of Albert taking him; he wanted it, wanted Albert, but he couldn't shake that small coating of uncertainty. But that was why he wanted it like this, while he was afraid Albert might hurt him (unintentionally, of course) he knew the older man didn't want that, wanted the opposite, in fact and that was enough for the teen.

"Yeah." He moved his hands to either side of Albert's face, trying to get his attention through what he recognized as excitement even as riddled with hesitation and fear as it was; he felt it too, but he needed to say this. "Hey...don't worry, it is okay. I trust you, don't forget that."

How does he do that? How can Jet tell when he starts to drown in his own thoughts? How does he know exactly what to say to keep him afloat? He leans in for a kiss, this one soft and thankful, and his gloved hand pulls Jet just that much closer.

"Thank you. And I trust you." He presses his forehead to his partner's, hand cradling the back of his neck. "You always know what to say."

He slides that slick hand between them, returning to where he'd been teasing Jet before and rubbing lightly. "Hold onto me, alright?"

He was fairly certain that was an overstatement cause more than half the time he had no idea what to say and just hoped the words that came out of his mouth worked. He was just glad, this time, they did.

Jet nodded and kissed the older man again as his arms moved to wrap behind his partner's shoulders. He moved his hips a bit to press back against that hand--only a little, though, he didn't want to rush just yet-- as silent, further indication that it was okay to keep going.

It's another soft kiss, slow and loving as Albert slips a finger into Jet, holding him close and paying all attention to the redhead's reactions, ready to stop as soon as Jet shows any sign of discomfort. He massages gentle circles into the back of the younger man's neck with his still-gloved thumb, a silent promise that Jet is safe in his arms.

There's a small intake of breath during that kiss at the feeling of being entered again, this time more comfortably, but there's no sign of discomfort yet.

If anything, there was a bit of a thrill that raced through him, a spark of anticipation that made him kiss back a little harder in response.

He leaves it there for a moment, Jet tight around his finger to the point where he's worried even a little movement will hurt. But... he's excited. Albert can tell, Jet is excited and wanting in every little shiver and every needy returned press of lips and it makes Albert bolder by degrees. He slides his finger in further, twisting his hand gently and drawing it back just a bit before pressing in and again, kissing and holding Jet close in a loving embrace as he draws in and out, hoping for another shiver, another gasp. Another sign that he's doing this right.

This was new already and while it was still a foreign sensation, it really wasn't a bad one. In fact, the more Albert moved the better it began to feel.

"Ah!" Shivers ran up and down his spine and one hand clenched even tighter in the shirt in it's grasp while the other tried to remain more gentle as it threaded through silver hair.

It felt good and it was only feeling better by the moment, but it wasn't enough, plus he knew his partner was likely still nervous, he wanted to let him know he definitely wasn't doing it wrong.

"Albert...I need more. Please." He moved his hips a little to push the digit further in him as though to prove he actually meant that.

"I didn't want- I mean, until you were ready..." He lets out a flustered breath, nervous and excited all at once. He feels like a teenager again, all confusion and groping but Jet wants this, boy does he want this if the depth to which he pulls Albert's finger inside is an indication. He's so tight and the very thought of himself inside of the man under him nearly ends the night early.

With a steadying breath, Albert removes his finger carefully, pressing kisses to the teen's face and neck as he awkwardly shifts to pull his pants just low enough that he's free to the room, eliciting a small sigh of relief and anticipation from the German. He kisses at Jet's chin as he lubes up and positions himself, the head of his overeager arousal sliding against Jet's entrance with a quivering anticipation, but the older cyborg still needs that one last word of permission even if he's shivering in want and excitement.

He breathes in puffs against Jet's skin, hands snaking around to hold the redhead close and flush against him, one curled behind his back and the other perched on his narrow hip, tracing the curve of his bone under thin flesh. "Are you ready?"

There's a little bit of disappointment when the pressure leaves him, but he banishes it in the face of anticipation for what was to come. Anticipation that only spiked as Albert moved his pants, used more lube and positioned himself to enter Jet.

He was half anticipating Albert would just do it so he was a little surprised to hear the question. He appreciated it, once he had.

Still, his embarrassment flared and he smirked even as his face flushed. "Just take me already. Yes, I'm good." His hand in Albert's hair slid down across his partner's neck and to his bicep. "I want this."

"This... this might hurt. If it's too much I'll stop." He whispers, fingers curling just a bit to get a better grip. Albert hesitates just one moment more, swallowing and letting out a low breath, his entire body tensing. With that warning and with the utmost care, he pushes into Jet slowly.

The effect on Albert is immediate and while he manages to keep himself slow and steady, he can't quite contain the low groan of surrender he growls into Jet's shoulder.

That much he knew, but even still, knowing it didn't make it hurt any less. His hand on Albert's arm clenched tightly and he couldn't stop the sharp cry that escaped him, but he curled in, face in Albert's shoulder and his legs shifting up to press against the older cyborg's body. Jet's free arm stayed curled behind his partner's back and even pressed closer, hoping that would be taken as a sign that he didn't want Albert to pull away or stop.

It hurt, yes, but he trusted Albert and he wanted this and he really just needed to relax and for Albert to keep going.

"Albert..."

It was breathy and had both his discomfort but also his desire mixed in it. Slowly, both arms moved to wrap around his shoulders tightly and his legs slid up to wrap around Albert ass well, pulling him further in if only a little. His eyes were still clenched shut tightly but he allowed that in favor of focusing on the feel of Albert finally in him.

"I'm...I'm okay..just don't stop."

"I'm sorry," it's a ludicrous thing that slips out and Albert wishes he hadn't apologized. Yes he doesn't want to hurt Jet but from the woodwind voice and the fingers in his back he doesn't have anything to apologize for, but he's so scrambled he nearly apologizes for apologizing. Damnit.

He manages to bite his tongue and deliver kisses, soft and gentle, meant to sooth, as he pushes in all the way slowly, letting Jet get used to him and practically drowning in the younger man's embrace. He doesn't stop until he's fully inside, Jet's legs curled around his hips and his own hands tracing gentle touches and stroking through feathery hair. He speaks in a hushed voice, still punctuated with gentle and sweet brushes of his lips to Jet's neck and chin. "How is it?"

Jet shook his head at Albert's apology, knowing it was there because Jet was in some amount of pain, but it was lessening with each moment and Albert continuing to move helped as well. Once he was fully inside the younger man's body, long legs only curled tighter.

The question is met with Jet shifting to catch those lips with his own for a moment, the kiss light but passionate at the same time. "Better...good."

Physically, the discomfort was fading as he adjusted and once Albert was moving more he guessed it would go away completely. But this was more than the physical part of it, this was all different shades of emotional starting with how much Jet wanted this and now he was getting it and how much that meant to him, how important it was to him that they could be this close. Albert's body to his, Albert inside him, the whole thing a hundred--thousand--times better than his last experience and it wasn't even over yet, it was more than he could express.

"...amazing."

He curled as much as he could while they were paused like this, like he could pull Albert in him and to him so far that there wasn't a place where one started and the other began. Who knew, maybe that was already the case and Jet just couldn't see it past those intense and wonderful silver eyes or feel it past the feeling of strong hands on his skin.

"What about you?" Because as much as he was getting out of it, he didn't want Albert to feel anything less; Jet wanted it to be just as amazing and fulfilling for his partner, he'd do anything Albert needed to accomplish that.

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