makinglies | New York State of Mind

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New York State of Mind

It's been nearly a month and only now does Albert have his head on straight again. It took a near-death experience to do it, but in those moments he'd thought were his last when all the things he regrets went running the 'this is your life' marathon through his head one stuck out in particular. And that one is in a seventh story apartment that looms large and foreboding in the mid-autumn drizzle.

He pockets the scrap of paper he'd been clutching, address on it long since memorized. He should just go up there and say his piece. Most likely Jet will kick him right back to the street again. As well he should. Albert hadn't exactly been the model partner in the time they'd spent together. His heart had been in it, but the rest of him still quailed, afraid to get too invested, afraid that he would screw it all up regardless. At least if he didn't try then he could blame the failure on that. But that's not fair to Jet, and if he were honest not fair to himself either. He knows that now, that in his heart of hearts he's already invested. The things he's frightened of doing are the very things he wants more than anything. Jet, more than anyone else, makes him feel human.

Screwing up his courage, Albert walks right up to the door of the apartment building, then turns away and strides to the corner of the block instead, shoulders hunched against the freezing mist. He needs something first. He's not stalling. Really.

It's relatively slim pickings in the little bodega on the corner but Albert manages to pull several small bouquets into one large one. Roses and baby's breath might be a little cliche, but it's what they have and it's hopefully a gesture Jet will appreciate, especially since it cost Albert an entire day's worth of spending money. Not that it matters. If it softens Jet for even a moment, it'll be worth it.

If.

He stops on his trek back up the block, staring at the flowers as if they'd suddenly start speaking to him. It's too much, isn't it? Roses? That's what he would always do for Hilda when she was cross with him, buy her flowers or jewelry, but Jet isn't Hilda. He'd never thought of Jet as Hilda, of course, but flowers seem such a feminine gift...

No, it's fine. It'll be fine. Who doesn't like flowers?

Halfway up the stairs he wonders if maybe Jet doesn't like flowers, or he'll throw them back in Albert's face for trying to treat him like 'some broad'.

Two thirds of the way back down he kicks himself mentally to just do it, damnit! Stop being such a coward! He'll either like them or not but the flowers aren't the point. The point is he's here, he'll apologize from the bottom of his heart, and Jet will take him back.

Well, ideally Jet will take him back.

He's already in front of the apartment door when that nagging voice in the back of his head tauntingly asks how often things are ever ideal. He paces once, twice in front of the door, mouth a thin and troubled line cutting across his face as he hems and haws, trying to reconcile what he hopes will happen with what's more likely.

Just do it!!

He knocks, heart in his throat.

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He leaves it there for a moment, Jet tight around his finger to the point where he's worried even a little movement will hurt. But... he's excited. Albert can tell, Jet is excited and wanting in every little shiver and every needy returned press of lips and it makes Albert bolder by degrees. He slides his finger in further, twisting his hand gently and drawing it back just a bit before pressing in and again, kissing and holding Jet close in a loving embrace as he draws in and out, hoping for another shiver, another gasp. Another sign that he's doing this right.

This was new already and while it was still a foreign sensation, it really wasn't a bad one. In fact, the more Albert moved the better it began to feel.

"Ah!" Shivers ran up and down his spine and one hand clenched even tighter in the shirt in it's grasp while the other tried to remain more gentle as it threaded through silver hair.

It felt good and it was only feeling better by the moment, but it wasn't enough, plus he knew his partner was likely still nervous, he wanted to let him know he definitely wasn't doing it wrong.

"Albert...I need more. Please." He moved his hips a little to push the digit further in him as though to prove he actually meant that.

"I didn't want- I mean, until you were ready..." He lets out a flustered breath, nervous and excited all at once. He feels like a teenager again, all confusion and groping but Jet wants this, boy does he want this if the depth to which he pulls Albert's finger inside is an indication. He's so tight and the very thought of himself inside of the man under him nearly ends the night early.

With a steadying breath, Albert removes his finger carefully, pressing kisses to the teen's face and neck as he awkwardly shifts to pull his pants just low enough that he's free to the room, eliciting a small sigh of relief and anticipation from the German. He kisses at Jet's chin as he lubes up and positions himself, the head of his overeager arousal sliding against Jet's entrance with a quivering anticipation, but the older cyborg still needs that one last word of permission even if he's shivering in want and excitement.

He breathes in puffs against Jet's skin, hands snaking around to hold the redhead close and flush against him, one curled behind his back and the other perched on his narrow hip, tracing the curve of his bone under thin flesh. "Are you ready?"

There's a little bit of disappointment when the pressure leaves him, but he banishes it in the face of anticipation for what was to come. Anticipation that only spiked as Albert moved his pants, used more lube and positioned himself to enter Jet.

He was half anticipating Albert would just do it so he was a little surprised to hear the question. He appreciated it, once he had.

Still, his embarrassment flared and he smirked even as his face flushed. "Just take me already. Yes, I'm good." His hand in Albert's hair slid down across his partner's neck and to his bicep. "I want this."

"This... this might hurt. If it's too much I'll stop." He whispers, fingers curling just a bit to get a better grip. Albert hesitates just one moment more, swallowing and letting out a low breath, his entire body tensing. With that warning and with the utmost care, he pushes into Jet slowly.

The effect on Albert is immediate and while he manages to keep himself slow and steady, he can't quite contain the low groan of surrender he growls into Jet's shoulder.

That much he knew, but even still, knowing it didn't make it hurt any less. His hand on Albert's arm clenched tightly and he couldn't stop the sharp cry that escaped him, but he curled in, face in Albert's shoulder and his legs shifting up to press against the older cyborg's body. Jet's free arm stayed curled behind his partner's back and even pressed closer, hoping that would be taken as a sign that he didn't want Albert to pull away or stop.

It hurt, yes, but he trusted Albert and he wanted this and he really just needed to relax and for Albert to keep going.

"Albert..."

It was breathy and had both his discomfort but also his desire mixed in it. Slowly, both arms moved to wrap around his shoulders tightly and his legs slid up to wrap around Albert ass well, pulling him further in if only a little. His eyes were still clenched shut tightly but he allowed that in favor of focusing on the feel of Albert finally in him.

"I'm...I'm okay..just don't stop."

"I'm sorry," it's a ludicrous thing that slips out and Albert wishes he hadn't apologized. Yes he doesn't want to hurt Jet but from the woodwind voice and the fingers in his back he doesn't have anything to apologize for, but he's so scrambled he nearly apologizes for apologizing. Damnit.

He manages to bite his tongue and deliver kisses, soft and gentle, meant to sooth, as he pushes in all the way slowly, letting Jet get used to him and practically drowning in the younger man's embrace. He doesn't stop until he's fully inside, Jet's legs curled around his hips and his own hands tracing gentle touches and stroking through feathery hair. He speaks in a hushed voice, still punctuated with gentle and sweet brushes of his lips to Jet's neck and chin. "How is it?"

Jet shook his head at Albert's apology, knowing it was there because Jet was in some amount of pain, but it was lessening with each moment and Albert continuing to move helped as well. Once he was fully inside the younger man's body, long legs only curled tighter.

The question is met with Jet shifting to catch those lips with his own for a moment, the kiss light but passionate at the same time. "Better...good."

Physically, the discomfort was fading as he adjusted and once Albert was moving more he guessed it would go away completely. But this was more than the physical part of it, this was all different shades of emotional starting with how much Jet wanted this and now he was getting it and how much that meant to him, how important it was to him that they could be this close. Albert's body to his, Albert inside him, the whole thing a hundred--thousand--times better than his last experience and it wasn't even over yet, it was more than he could express.

"...amazing."

He curled as much as he could while they were paused like this, like he could pull Albert in him and to him so far that there wasn't a place where one started and the other began. Who knew, maybe that was already the case and Jet just couldn't see it past those intense and wonderful silver eyes or feel it past the feeling of strong hands on his skin.

"What about you?" Because as much as he was getting out of it, he didn't want Albert to feel anything less; Jet wanted it to be just as amazing and fulfilling for his partner, he'd do anything Albert needed to accomplish that.

Tension keeps Albert steady even when Jet's legs tighten and try to push him in further but it doesn't manage to drown out the lust-laden groan that follows, nearly drowning out Jet's question with the answering noise. "D-don't move for a second."

He feels as if he'll burst, not just physically but if he still had a true heart it would be beating a flamenco. It's been so long, years and years, and to have someone in his arms again that he cares for this much - so genuinely and so deeply that it frightens him into guilt sometimes if he thinks about it too hard - is beyond overwhelming. But he has to keep it together. He owes Jet the perfect night and he's already done a poorer job of it than he'd like. The very least he can do is not finish too quickly.

Which may be a Herculean task if Jet tenses any more than he already is. A shudder of his own rolls through Albert's body as he shifts, half holding his breath in starting to move. "Gott, you're so tight."

He did his best not to move too much as directed, only his hand moving to pet Albert's hair was the exception. That groan was a good enough answer in his mind and every little shift of Albert's body raises a whispered moan in response.

His partner's comment makes his cheeks burn but he smirks a tiny bit in spite of them. "Sorry...it's been a while you know." Which admittedly had him hoping neither of them would end up finishing too soon, it was possible, but he didn't want this over just yet.

Gentle, encouraging, kisses were placed along jaw and cheek as Jet tried to wait patiently for Albert to start moving. He didn't want to rush, but he desperately wanted that friction, the feeling of his partner moving inside of him. "Keep going....please."

"I will. I am." A bit of a stutter is mumbled against the redhead's shoulder as Albert gathers his wits, smirking a little. "I'd like this to last longer than a few moments."

He takes a strengthening breath and pulls out just far enough that he can push in again, immediately shivering at the pressure and friction the movement causes. The pace is slow out of necessity, otherwise he'll go too fast, possibly hurt Jet, and it will be over too soon. Even so there's a rising fervor in him and he uses that to drive his lips, stealing a deep kiss as he moves his hips again, holding Jet tight and close.

The movements send shocks up his spine that leave him breathing just heavily enough to leave his lips parted, allowing for that kiss even more. He poured as much desire into it as he could before the next thrust sent a new spark that tore a small sound from him that he drowned in that kiss.

Every movement stood out to him, every feeling and sensation was stark and detailed and perfect, but he needed to force himself to relax more, for both of their sakes. Of course, with his legs still wound tightly around his partner's hips in some effort to pull him further inside and his hands still digging sharply into Albert's shoulders, he wasn't too sure he was doing a good job with it. Maybe it just wasn't going to happen this time.

Jet's lips pulled away from the German's and turned attention to the other man's jaw and neck in an attempt to illicit some kind of noise from the older man as well.

"Are you alright?" The words come out breathless, Albert's concern almost drowned in his own desire, lips just a bit swollen from the hard kisses he's been visiting on his lover. "You're still so tense. Does it hurt?"

It shouldn't hurt, he doesn't want it to hurt, but Jet is so tight around him, almost sucking at him - does the body do that? - and it sends an unwarranted shudder up his spine. Or perhaps that's from the nipping kisses Jet is pressing against his throat, pulling a soft and airy moan from the older cyborg. He moves his hips again, this time a little harder though it's not his intention, Jet's body just tugs at him so. "Ah... Jet..."

Another cry comes from the red head at the harder thrust, but unlike the last one, this one is soaked in pleasure and need. "Ah-! Al...Albert. Like that, please."

He can't bare to unhook his legs for some unfounded fear that him doing so will make it all stop, but he does work his fingers out of their clenched positions and wraps his arms more around Albert's torso. That at least he could loosen up on a bit.

"I'm fine...it doesn't hurt." The discomfort was gone and even the feeling of strangeness was fading rapidly in the face of something much stronger, something much more pleasant. Albert's girth was likely what had caused the discomfort initially, but now it felt perfect, like he belonged inside the younger cyborg and Jet really couldn't agree more.

"It's really...really good. I want more."

That lust-soaked admission and Jet's arms wrapping around him give Albert confidence in what he's doing, letting him loosen up a little himself and start to move his hips in earnest. It's still careful and relatively tame, but it's a strong and steady pace he sets for them both and it pulls gasps and twitches from Albert even after only a few moments.

Jet's breathing only gets heavier as Albert's hips move, those shocks from before evening out to a strong and constant thrum of pleasure that sets his mind in a fog.

He could take more than this, something faster or harder or both, but he doesn't urge it, this is good too. It's different and nice and the movement of body against body is exactly what he wants.

He wished he could tell Albert that, say exactly what it was he was feeling, but he'd only barely managed sentences before that fog had settled and now he was fairly certain even words would be difficult, so he poured it all into the kisses he pressed along Albert's cheek and chin until he found his partner's lips and attached his own to them.

Even if this didn't last as long as either of them would like, he was happy with this. This was a good first time.

Edited 2014-01-14 19:03 (UTC)

"Jet, I can't keep-!" Torn gasps and shuddering breaths curl against Jet's lips between kisses as Albert struggles to keep himself in check. He's losing the battle terribly, already shuddering at every movement and seeing sparks at the corners of his eyes. "I'm going t-to go harder. Tell me to stop if it hurts."

Albert lavishes a deep, encompassing kiss on the younger man, a quiet noise of helpless desire rolling from his tongue and down Jet's throat as the German relinquishes control, hips moving more quickly and deeper with each thrust, arms holding Jet close and breath hitching at each full thrust, the friction and tightness and heat all overwhelming and setting him into the same fog that Jet's already lost in.

He eats up that helpless noise as he responds to the kiss as best he can, more reacting on instinct than thinking about it. Any possible thought was lost to the faster, deeper, pace and he clawed at the fabric over Albert's back as his sharp gasp turned into a strangled cry of desire.

Jet clung to his lover, unable to help the occasional movement of hips to meet one of those thrusts, driving his partner deeper than before, if only for a moment.

One of Albert's thrusts had Jet choking on a cry that only turned sharper and louder once freed as stars exploded behind his eyes. "AH-! A-Albert! God...ahh I-I'm close." Especially if Albert did whatever that was again, Jet was fairly certain he'd simply lose it.

"Good," more of a gasp than a word is hissed against Jet's shoulder, the older man wrapping his arms more tightly around his partner as if to keep them both from shaking apart. The intensity of it, of having the exact person he wants in his arms, fit to burst because of him, it's a wonderful feeling and even as much as he wants it to last, he can't drag it out much longer. Instead he sucks in a rough breath, his voice rough and heady in Jet's ear as he thrusts again, trying to hit that same spot that made Jet shudder and call in his arms.

"Come with me." He nips at the shell of Jet's ear, nearly begging more than commanding in his all consuming need, pleading for permission. "C-can I..? Inside you?"

It took a moment for his scattered mind to piece together Albert's meaning, but when it did a strange mixture of emotions rushed through him that resulted in a gasped and disjointed response into Albert's ear as Jet's hand tangled almost too tightly in silver strands. "Yes...please-!!"

Maybe it was silly, but there was this feeling behind the idea that Albert finishing inside of him would somehow make Jet his even more. It was a thought that almost finished the younger cyborg right then and there.

He didn't know how close his partner was, but he tried to hold out, to feel those perfectly deep and strong thrusts just a little longer, but one angled just right hit that spot again and Jet's vision went white. His hand gripped even tighter at Albert's hair, as did the hand that had moved to the German's shoulder. Everything tensed more than ever, his legs pressing in against Albert's ass to shove him as deeply as possible and the teen's body, clenching in tightly around Albert as Jet came with another cried shout of the older cyborg's name followed by a long, loud, moan bereft of words and full to the brim with emotion.

It's funny how Jet uses please so much more when they're like this. It's a little more submissive, a little less overbearing, and Albert finds he enjoys this side of Jet too, the softer more delicate side that clings to him for dear life, that lets him inside both figuratively and literally. The German makes a silent private vow to protect that gentleness, to never take that vulnerability that the younger man is still somehow comfortable showing him even after he'd been a terrible ass for granted.

To never take Jet for granted.

Sparks fly behind his eyelids as he takes one last thrust, hard and deep and tight as Jet's every muscle tenses around him, calling his name and sending a shudder down his spine that's followed by others as he comes inside his partner, breathlessly whispering in the younger man's ear as the waves of desire pull him under and leave him gasping.

"Jet, Jet... my sparrow..."

Albert losing himself in Jet sends shivers down the younger cyborg's spine and he finally loosens up under the calm, comfortable, joy that overtakes him. His feet find the mattress, his knees still pressed in -a gentle encouragement that Albert stay where he is a little longer- and his hands release the captive silver strands and dark fabric they'd been holding so tightly. His arm pressed in on Albert's back, holding him to the slimmer man's chest while the hand still on the back of Alvert's head gently stroked his hair.

He's largely silent now, basking in the emotions his partner has given him and in the feeling of his weight on Jet, every point of contact precious and impossible to break. While still cheek to cheek with him, Jet allowed himself a moment of complete vulnerability-a feeling that had been lacing it's way through the evening-and leaned into the contact in what could probably be called a nuzzle. "...thank you..."

It was breathy, practically whispered and he knew Albert wouldn't fully know why Jet was thanking him, but that was alright. There were no more mixed feelings stirring at the bottom if his stomach, no more vague doubt that maybe he couldn't do this or that he'd mess it up because his only point if tefernce was violent and full of lust and not love.

There was no longer a voice in the back if his mind that said somehow, despite there not being any signs, despite it having been years ago and Jet having learned to deal, what had happened would make him undesirable. It had been crushed under the palpable waves of desire and care Albert had shown him.

Thank you warrants a response but Albert, spent and in a warm daze from so much emotion, can't think of what he's supposed to say. 'You're welcome' is traditional but it seems wrong here, stretched out in each other's arms, trying to relearn how to breathe. Jet's fingers in his hair draw out a smile and Albert decides not to say anything, instead to turn his head and give a gentle, loving kiss to his partner's cheek.

There's a glow between them and the soft sounds of Jet's heart and the motor that stands for Albert's mingle in a soothing rhythm as they both calm in the aftermath. Every doubt that Albert had, every little worry that he'd used as an excuse to keep them apart are all now simply melted away. There's no doubt in his mind that this was the right choice and he's eternally grateful that Jet gave him that second chance.

Metal hands trace gentle meaningless patterns on Jet's arms, Albert more comfortable than he's been in years. "Good?"

There's a small laugh in response and he's back to sounding 'normal,' that vulnerability sweapt away again, though he wasn't any less at ease. "Definitely." He'd probably be a bit sore in the morning, but it would be the good kind of sore and he wouldn't regret it in the slightest.

He kissed Albert's cheek in return and let his hand rest on the back of the older cyborg's neck, perfectly content to just hold him. "What about you?"

"Perfect." He hasn't been held in so long. Even with Hilda it was rare, he was always taking the lead and she was smaller, but cuddled up to Jet like this he could easily get used to it.

"We should wash up." That would be the tidy thing to do, but he would so much rather stay like this for the foreseeable future.

New York State of Mind

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