makinglies | New York State of Mind

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New York State of Mind

It's been nearly a month and only now does Albert have his head on straight again. It took a near-death experience to do it, but in those moments he'd thought were his last when all the things he regrets went running the 'this is your life' marathon through his head one stuck out in particular. And that one is in a seventh story apartment that looms large and foreboding in the mid-autumn drizzle.

He pockets the scrap of paper he'd been clutching, address on it long since memorized. He should just go up there and say his piece. Most likely Jet will kick him right back to the street again. As well he should. Albert hadn't exactly been the model partner in the time they'd spent together. His heart had been in it, but the rest of him still quailed, afraid to get too invested, afraid that he would screw it all up regardless. At least if he didn't try then he could blame the failure on that. But that's not fair to Jet, and if he were honest not fair to himself either. He knows that now, that in his heart of hearts he's already invested. The things he's frightened of doing are the very things he wants more than anything. Jet, more than anyone else, makes him feel human.

Screwing up his courage, Albert walks right up to the door of the apartment building, then turns away and strides to the corner of the block instead, shoulders hunched against the freezing mist. He needs something first. He's not stalling. Really.

It's relatively slim pickings in the little bodega on the corner but Albert manages to pull several small bouquets into one large one. Roses and baby's breath might be a little cliche, but it's what they have and it's hopefully a gesture Jet will appreciate, especially since it cost Albert an entire day's worth of spending money. Not that it matters. If it softens Jet for even a moment, it'll be worth it.

If.

He stops on his trek back up the block, staring at the flowers as if they'd suddenly start speaking to him. It's too much, isn't it? Roses? That's what he would always do for Hilda when she was cross with him, buy her flowers or jewelry, but Jet isn't Hilda. He'd never thought of Jet as Hilda, of course, but flowers seem such a feminine gift...

No, it's fine. It'll be fine. Who doesn't like flowers?

Halfway up the stairs he wonders if maybe Jet doesn't like flowers, or he'll throw them back in Albert's face for trying to treat him like 'some broad'.

Two thirds of the way back down he kicks himself mentally to just do it, damnit! Stop being such a coward! He'll either like them or not but the flowers aren't the point. The point is he's here, he'll apologize from the bottom of his heart, and Jet will take him back.

Well, ideally Jet will take him back.

He's already in front of the apartment door when that nagging voice in the back of his head tauntingly asks how often things are ever ideal. He paces once, twice in front of the door, mouth a thin and troubled line cutting across his face as he hems and haws, trying to reconcile what he hopes will happen with what's more likely.

Just do it!!

He knocks, heart in his throat.

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Tension keeps Albert steady even when Jet's legs tighten and try to push him in further but it doesn't manage to drown out the lust-laden groan that follows, nearly drowning out Jet's question with the answering noise. "D-don't move for a second."

He feels as if he'll burst, not just physically but if he still had a true heart it would be beating a flamenco. It's been so long, years and years, and to have someone in his arms again that he cares for this much - so genuinely and so deeply that it frightens him into guilt sometimes if he thinks about it too hard - is beyond overwhelming. But he has to keep it together. He owes Jet the perfect night and he's already done a poorer job of it than he'd like. The very least he can do is not finish too quickly.

Which may be a Herculean task if Jet tenses any more than he already is. A shudder of his own rolls through Albert's body as he shifts, half holding his breath in starting to move. "Gott, you're so tight."

He did his best not to move too much as directed, only his hand moving to pet Albert's hair was the exception. That groan was a good enough answer in his mind and every little shift of Albert's body raises a whispered moan in response.

His partner's comment makes his cheeks burn but he smirks a tiny bit in spite of them. "Sorry...it's been a while you know." Which admittedly had him hoping neither of them would end up finishing too soon, it was possible, but he didn't want this over just yet.

Gentle, encouraging, kisses were placed along jaw and cheek as Jet tried to wait patiently for Albert to start moving. He didn't want to rush, but he desperately wanted that friction, the feeling of his partner moving inside of him. "Keep going....please."

"I will. I am." A bit of a stutter is mumbled against the redhead's shoulder as Albert gathers his wits, smirking a little. "I'd like this to last longer than a few moments."

He takes a strengthening breath and pulls out just far enough that he can push in again, immediately shivering at the pressure and friction the movement causes. The pace is slow out of necessity, otherwise he'll go too fast, possibly hurt Jet, and it will be over too soon. Even so there's a rising fervor in him and he uses that to drive his lips, stealing a deep kiss as he moves his hips again, holding Jet tight and close.

The movements send shocks up his spine that leave him breathing just heavily enough to leave his lips parted, allowing for that kiss even more. He poured as much desire into it as he could before the next thrust sent a new spark that tore a small sound from him that he drowned in that kiss.

Every movement stood out to him, every feeling and sensation was stark and detailed and perfect, but he needed to force himself to relax more, for both of their sakes. Of course, with his legs still wound tightly around his partner's hips in some effort to pull him further inside and his hands still digging sharply into Albert's shoulders, he wasn't too sure he was doing a good job with it. Maybe it just wasn't going to happen this time.

Jet's lips pulled away from the German's and turned attention to the other man's jaw and neck in an attempt to illicit some kind of noise from the older man as well.

"Are you alright?" The words come out breathless, Albert's concern almost drowned in his own desire, lips just a bit swollen from the hard kisses he's been visiting on his lover. "You're still so tense. Does it hurt?"

It shouldn't hurt, he doesn't want it to hurt, but Jet is so tight around him, almost sucking at him - does the body do that? - and it sends an unwarranted shudder up his spine. Or perhaps that's from the nipping kisses Jet is pressing against his throat, pulling a soft and airy moan from the older cyborg. He moves his hips again, this time a little harder though it's not his intention, Jet's body just tugs at him so. "Ah... Jet..."

Another cry comes from the red head at the harder thrust, but unlike the last one, this one is soaked in pleasure and need. "Ah-! Al...Albert. Like that, please."

He can't bare to unhook his legs for some unfounded fear that him doing so will make it all stop, but he does work his fingers out of their clenched positions and wraps his arms more around Albert's torso. That at least he could loosen up on a bit.

"I'm fine...it doesn't hurt." The discomfort was gone and even the feeling of strangeness was fading rapidly in the face of something much stronger, something much more pleasant. Albert's girth was likely what had caused the discomfort initially, but now it felt perfect, like he belonged inside the younger cyborg and Jet really couldn't agree more.

"It's really...really good. I want more."

That lust-soaked admission and Jet's arms wrapping around him give Albert confidence in what he's doing, letting him loosen up a little himself and start to move his hips in earnest. It's still careful and relatively tame, but it's a strong and steady pace he sets for them both and it pulls gasps and twitches from Albert even after only a few moments.

Jet's breathing only gets heavier as Albert's hips move, those shocks from before evening out to a strong and constant thrum of pleasure that sets his mind in a fog.

He could take more than this, something faster or harder or both, but he doesn't urge it, this is good too. It's different and nice and the movement of body against body is exactly what he wants.

He wished he could tell Albert that, say exactly what it was he was feeling, but he'd only barely managed sentences before that fog had settled and now he was fairly certain even words would be difficult, so he poured it all into the kisses he pressed along Albert's cheek and chin until he found his partner's lips and attached his own to them.

Even if this didn't last as long as either of them would like, he was happy with this. This was a good first time.

Edited 2014-01-14 19:03 (UTC)

"Jet, I can't keep-!" Torn gasps and shuddering breaths curl against Jet's lips between kisses as Albert struggles to keep himself in check. He's losing the battle terribly, already shuddering at every movement and seeing sparks at the corners of his eyes. "I'm going t-to go harder. Tell me to stop if it hurts."

Albert lavishes a deep, encompassing kiss on the younger man, a quiet noise of helpless desire rolling from his tongue and down Jet's throat as the German relinquishes control, hips moving more quickly and deeper with each thrust, arms holding Jet close and breath hitching at each full thrust, the friction and tightness and heat all overwhelming and setting him into the same fog that Jet's already lost in.

He eats up that helpless noise as he responds to the kiss as best he can, more reacting on instinct than thinking about it. Any possible thought was lost to the faster, deeper, pace and he clawed at the fabric over Albert's back as his sharp gasp turned into a strangled cry of desire.

Jet clung to his lover, unable to help the occasional movement of hips to meet one of those thrusts, driving his partner deeper than before, if only for a moment.

One of Albert's thrusts had Jet choking on a cry that only turned sharper and louder once freed as stars exploded behind his eyes. "AH-! A-Albert! God...ahh I-I'm close." Especially if Albert did whatever that was again, Jet was fairly certain he'd simply lose it.

"Good," more of a gasp than a word is hissed against Jet's shoulder, the older man wrapping his arms more tightly around his partner as if to keep them both from shaking apart. The intensity of it, of having the exact person he wants in his arms, fit to burst because of him, it's a wonderful feeling and even as much as he wants it to last, he can't drag it out much longer. Instead he sucks in a rough breath, his voice rough and heady in Jet's ear as he thrusts again, trying to hit that same spot that made Jet shudder and call in his arms.

"Come with me." He nips at the shell of Jet's ear, nearly begging more than commanding in his all consuming need, pleading for permission. "C-can I..? Inside you?"

It took a moment for his scattered mind to piece together Albert's meaning, but when it did a strange mixture of emotions rushed through him that resulted in a gasped and disjointed response into Albert's ear as Jet's hand tangled almost too tightly in silver strands. "Yes...please-!!"

Maybe it was silly, but there was this feeling behind the idea that Albert finishing inside of him would somehow make Jet his even more. It was a thought that almost finished the younger cyborg right then and there.

He didn't know how close his partner was, but he tried to hold out, to feel those perfectly deep and strong thrusts just a little longer, but one angled just right hit that spot again and Jet's vision went white. His hand gripped even tighter at Albert's hair, as did the hand that had moved to the German's shoulder. Everything tensed more than ever, his legs pressing in against Albert's ass to shove him as deeply as possible and the teen's body, clenching in tightly around Albert as Jet came with another cried shout of the older cyborg's name followed by a long, loud, moan bereft of words and full to the brim with emotion.

It's funny how Jet uses please so much more when they're like this. It's a little more submissive, a little less overbearing, and Albert finds he enjoys this side of Jet too, the softer more delicate side that clings to him for dear life, that lets him inside both figuratively and literally. The German makes a silent private vow to protect that gentleness, to never take that vulnerability that the younger man is still somehow comfortable showing him even after he'd been a terrible ass for granted.

To never take Jet for granted.

Sparks fly behind his eyelids as he takes one last thrust, hard and deep and tight as Jet's every muscle tenses around him, calling his name and sending a shudder down his spine that's followed by others as he comes inside his partner, breathlessly whispering in the younger man's ear as the waves of desire pull him under and leave him gasping.

"Jet, Jet... my sparrow..."

Albert losing himself in Jet sends shivers down the younger cyborg's spine and he finally loosens up under the calm, comfortable, joy that overtakes him. His feet find the mattress, his knees still pressed in -a gentle encouragement that Albert stay where he is a little longer- and his hands release the captive silver strands and dark fabric they'd been holding so tightly. His arm pressed in on Albert's back, holding him to the slimmer man's chest while the hand still on the back of Alvert's head gently stroked his hair.

He's largely silent now, basking in the emotions his partner has given him and in the feeling of his weight on Jet, every point of contact precious and impossible to break. While still cheek to cheek with him, Jet allowed himself a moment of complete vulnerability-a feeling that had been lacing it's way through the evening-and leaned into the contact in what could probably be called a nuzzle. "...thank you..."

It was breathy, practically whispered and he knew Albert wouldn't fully know why Jet was thanking him, but that was alright. There were no more mixed feelings stirring at the bottom if his stomach, no more vague doubt that maybe he couldn't do this or that he'd mess it up because his only point if tefernce was violent and full of lust and not love.

There was no longer a voice in the back if his mind that said somehow, despite there not being any signs, despite it having been years ago and Jet having learned to deal, what had happened would make him undesirable. It had been crushed under the palpable waves of desire and care Albert had shown him.

Thank you warrants a response but Albert, spent and in a warm daze from so much emotion, can't think of what he's supposed to say. 'You're welcome' is traditional but it seems wrong here, stretched out in each other's arms, trying to relearn how to breathe. Jet's fingers in his hair draw out a smile and Albert decides not to say anything, instead to turn his head and give a gentle, loving kiss to his partner's cheek.

There's a glow between them and the soft sounds of Jet's heart and the motor that stands for Albert's mingle in a soothing rhythm as they both calm in the aftermath. Every doubt that Albert had, every little worry that he'd used as an excuse to keep them apart are all now simply melted away. There's no doubt in his mind that this was the right choice and he's eternally grateful that Jet gave him that second chance.

Metal hands trace gentle meaningless patterns on Jet's arms, Albert more comfortable than he's been in years. "Good?"

There's a small laugh in response and he's back to sounding 'normal,' that vulnerability sweapt away again, though he wasn't any less at ease. "Definitely." He'd probably be a bit sore in the morning, but it would be the good kind of sore and he wouldn't regret it in the slightest.

He kissed Albert's cheek in return and let his hand rest on the back of the older cyborg's neck, perfectly content to just hold him. "What about you?"

"Perfect." He hasn't been held in so long. Even with Hilda it was rare, he was always taking the lead and she was smaller, but cuddled up to Jet like this he could easily get used to it.

"We should wash up." That would be the tidy thing to do, but he would so much rather stay like this for the foreseeable future.

Jet's arm tightened around Albert for just a moment as though he anticipated the German attempting to rise at any moment. "In a sec. I don't wanna lose this just yet."

This peace, this feeling of perfection and closeness...he could still feel Albert buried inside him and it wasn't a feeling he wanted to lose, not yet. Not while his head was still swimming through and processing a thousand things at once.

Besides, Albert would likely want to shower alone, considering and while Jet understood and would respect that desire, it just made him even less eager to separate so soon.

Albert lifts one hand to brush through Jet's hair, looking at his face with a warmth that he wishes he could spread to his metal fingers. "Alright. I'm not going anywhere."

Not just right then, but at all. Ever. He tries to make that clear without saying so directly, that he won't make the same mistake again, that as he said, he's in it now completely.

Whether he understood completely or not, Jet got the gist: Albert wasn't just talking about right here right now, he was talking about something Jet prized higher than anything: loyalty. More than that, devotion, a promise not to leave which, considering his parents and his gang, the younger man hadn't had the best history with.

But when Albert said, the way he said it, made Jet believe him. He wanted to, sure, but Albert was also a pretty honest guy and a romantic sap on top of that; if he was saying something like that, he meant it.

Jet leaned into the touch and closed his eyes for a brief moment. "...'preciate that a lot-" He shrugged. "-....just so you know."

"Mmm," He'd meant that to be an actual response but it's warm and comfortable like this and his mind seems to have wandered off to attend to other things. "'S good."

A moment later he's snoring softly, Jet's hair still caught lightly between his fingers.

The soft, even breath against his skin makes him smile and give a light scoff as his hand ran through Albert's hair. So much for getting up and getting cleaned. Oh well, later worked too.

Jet did his best to gather in the blanket beneath them to cover them without disturbing his partner, then pressed a gentle kiss on him before settling in himself. Sleep sounded pretty good right now, not only because of the long day and the amazing sex they'd just had but because the solid weight over his body acted as better comfort and security than any blanket he owned. Although, to be fair, one of those blankets would likely be warmer, but he wasn't willing to trade.

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New York State of Mind

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