makinglies | Lost and now I am found

Entry tags:

johnny,
sola

Lost and now I am found

[He could have sworn he'd been crushed. He'd been running down that passage way with the others and he'd...he'd stopped. He'd stopped in the middle of that attack and he let that cave-in fall on him.

And yet, here he was, in the middle of a bustling, futuristic, city. It was night...but a part of him vaguely wished it wasn't. It didn't matter. He was in a new place again. He'd lost Sola...and he'd lost everyone else too. He really wouldn't have minded if it just stopped.

He was so tired.

Still, unless he was going to find someone who would cut off his head or stab him in the heart, he wasn't going to get anywhere standing on this street corner.

The vampire found a way up onto a roof so he could look around. What he saw was technologically breath-taking. It was a mixture of modern and sci-fi and, if he'd been feeling himself, he might have been more fascinated. As it was, he was momentarily taken aback by the sight, but then moved on to trying to find...something.

The sight of a park in the middle of the city drew his eye, it wasn't like it was going to have answers for him, but right now he didn't want answers. He didn't care what this place was called or who was in it, but the idea of sitting around nature was the only thing that sounded good.

A flock of bats soared through the sky towards the park, careful not to go to high with all the air vehicles running around, and reformed in the branches of a tree in the middle of the park. This would do for now.]

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[Johnny's assurance that he'll take care of Sola sets the replica's eyes watering again, but he doesn't want to cry. Not again. His eyes already sting too much and his throat is raw, breath a little rattly. It hurts to cry. It hurts to do anything but stay here, balled up in Johnny's side, picking at the remains of the bread and fruit, forcing himself to eat slowly.

He sniffles, swallowing another small bite, fighting to keep his eyes from drifting closed.]

I don't want to...

[He'd dreamed this, so many times. The details all different, but Johnny rescuing him, holding him, making everything better... that he dreamed often. And every time he opened his eyes again and Johnny wasn't there was like a knife in him, deeper every time. He can't do it again, he can't sleep just to open his eyes in the morning and find Johnny was never there at all; if this is a dream, let it last forever.]

[He had no doubt Sola was going to fall asleep whether he wanted to or not, but he understood the sentiment. He didn't really want Sola to go to sleep either, because then he would have to go. Not for long, granted, but any amount of time, at this point, was too long.]

You need to, to get better.

[He wished he could just hold Sola and instantly make his dove better, but only time and care could do that. And, in the end, they would need money if they were going to make it in this place. He'd need to go get some.

For now, the vampire just continued to pet Sola's hair and, after a moment, he started to hum. It was nothing fancy, just an old tune from a long-gone time that he couldn't even remember the words for. But the tune was pretty and, he hoped, soothing.]

But... what if...

[The words trail off into nothing as Johnny begins to hum, Sola not hearing simply with his ears, but through the vibrations of Johnny's body as he weaves his song. He can feel the music, the song his matesprit is humming just for him. Before he's aware of it, his eyes are closed, ear against the vampire's chest and breath coming in an even rhythm.

It had only taken a moment, but Sola fell into a soft slumber curled there in Johnny's lap, finally feeling safe for the first time in a long time.]

[Johnny hummed the song until it's end and then sat there, just holding Sola a moment longer. He didn't want to leave the Hylian...not when they'd only just found each other...but he wanted to be able to devote his full attention to him when Sola woke up.

That meant he had to run errands when the younger man was asleep.

Gently and careful not to jostle him, Johnny set Sola down on the ground and covered him with blankets to keep him warm; hopefully between the blankets and the fire, he would be warm enough.

The vampire quietly slipped out the front door, dissolving into bats as soon as he'd closed the door; he needed to be quick.]

[For the first hour of Johnny's absence, Sola sleeps the sleep of the dead. He does not dream, consciousness floating in an empty sea of comforting nothing, body finally warm after months in the elements.

The second hour he turns, tosses off the blanket, seeing demons in his mind that takes the form of one defeated, Barry leaning back in a chair and smiling that halcyon grin even though his head is off, being held in his own arm. The other has Johnny by the neck, the vampire limp and listless with dull eyes and his own head leaning against the incubus' knee, a faint and lifeless smile barely touching his lips. He raises one weak hand, reaching for Sola without much strength...

And then Barry snaps his neck like a twig.

Sola sits up with a start and a strangled cry, disoriented and heart beating like a frightened rabbit. This isn't the bubble, nor the lobby, nor his bridge. It comes back to him slowly, Johnny bending by the river, carrying him to safety, the food, the fire, the humming.

Only Johnny isn't here.

Had he dreamed it? He'd dreamed of Johnny so many times, but never so vividly, never finding himself somewhere new upon waking. Was he seeing things, then? Was he so desperately alone that he's started hallucinating?

The fire pops and flickers, drawing Sola's attention, gaze leaden and devoid of emotion. That's it, then. He'd finally lost it, seeing things and following visions. He's so done, so tired. Very slowly Sola draws his knees up to his chest and stares into the fire, as if watching it burn up the rest of his hope.

Then softly, barely audible, he begins to hum the tune he'd imagined Johnny humming earlier, unheeding of the single tear the rolls down his cheek as he does so.]

[He hadn't meant to take this long. An hour, an hour and a half at most. But he'd had to make the items and then find a place open and willing to take them. Money in pocket, he'd stopped in a store to try and find some sort of comfort food for Sola, but it took some searching before he found something he thought might do the trick; it probably wasn't anything Sola knew of, but Johnny hoped he'd like them all the same.

To top it all off, he got stopped by a detective who, assumedly based on how Johnny was dressed, thought the vampire was trying to 'pick people up.' He got off with an apology and admittance that he 'was new there and didn't know the rules' but it left annoyance writhing in the pit of the vampire's stomach. He knew he'd been gone too long. His only saving grace was the fact Sola often slept straight on to morning when he finally went out.

Quietly, Johnny slipped back into the house...only to find his efforts in vain. Sola was awake, sitting up and...humming the song Johnny had been humming? The faint but sharp scent of salt finally reached him under all of the burning wood and other smells the house had from it's usual inhabitants. His heart seized in fear and worry and he took a step away from the door, grocery bag still in hand, and hoping he was mistaken about the smell.]

Sola?

....Sola, are you all right? Why are you awake?

[Ears twitch, betraying that Johnny's voice had reached Sola, but the replica doesn't react other than to curl over he's knees tighter and rock slightly, still humming brokenly under his breath.

It's not real... I'm not crazy, I'm not...

His eyes squeeze shut, ear twitching again at the sounds of Johnny moving in the house. Comforting sounds. Imagined sounds.

I want him to be real, he's not real...

His tears make small drops on the floor, reflecting back the firelight.

I want him to be here...]

[The utter lack of reaction made Johnny go cold and he dropped the bag, it's contents now forgotten as he went closer to Sola.]

Hey...Sola...look at me.

[Why was he being ignored? What had he done? He hesitated.]

I'm sorry I left, I thought I'd be back before you woke up but...

[He promised he wouldn't leave, and yet that's exactly what he'd done...was that why Sola was being so despondent? But he'd be angry, not...this, right? Then what?

He knelt down in front of Sola and held out his hand, hoping it would be taken. He didn't want to reach out to the Hylian, not if he was going to jerk away again, he didn't think he could handle it.]

Did..did you have a nightmare? Is that why you're awake?

[Did he have a nightmare and Johnny wasn't there to chase it away? Was it about whatever he'd seen here? Was it Barry? ...Was it him?

The thought made his hand close in on itself and he started to pull it away. If it was because of him, because of what he'd done, he wouldn't blame Sola for not wanting him near.
...but if it wasn't him, he couldn't pull away...if Sola needed him, he should be there.

His hand opened back up, still offering to take Sola's.]

Edited 2013-01-10 07:18 (UTC)

[Sola's fingers curl up under the cuffs of his tattered boots as he stares at Johnny's hand, shoulders pinched and nervous, eyes again open and filled with longing just as much as distress.]

I don't want you to just be a dream...

[More tears follow their predecessors, tracking down Sola's cheeks. They fall to the floor almost audibly, so soft is the replica's voice.]

It hurts too much if you're not real. I-I thought so many times you were here but it was never you, so... so this can't...

[A cough interrupts Sola's words, wet and painful enough to make the Hylian grimace and pull one hand in against his chest, behind his knees so tightly curled into this thin frame.]

[He thought Johnny wasn't...
It made sense, if he thought about it. He shouldn't have left, not while Sola was asleep.]

But I am real, Sola, I promise. I just stepped out for a moment and I'm sorry for that, I shouldn't have.

[He brought his other hand up with the first and, slowly, brought them towards Sola's face.

Don't flinch. Don't flinch. Please, please, don't flinch...

Gently, he reached out to wipe the tears away and hold that face he thought was so beautiful in his hands.]

I told you: I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not an illusion.

I'm here and I love you.

Edited 2013-01-10 07:45 (UTC)

[He doesn't pull away. He wants Johnny to be there, he wants so very badly for his boyfriend to actually be able to reach out and touch him and wipe his tears, force everything to make sense again. But it doesn't work like that. Just wishing doesn't make something true. He closes his eyes again, waiting for the feeling of that large warm hand against his cheek, that comforting feeling that loosens the painful tightness in his chest just a little before vanishing into nothing, never really having been there in the first place. He can indulge in this, at least, before the figment is gone.

But Johnny's hand on his cheek startles his eyes open again in a sudden realization; his hand is cold.

It would be, of course, the vampire having been out in the winter weather for a solid few hours, but in every one of Sola's dreams, Johnny's hands had been warm and comforting. Here they're uncomfortably cold, enough to give him a little shiver, enough to snap him more to his senses and press the realization home.

Johnny is really here.

Carefully Sola takes Johnny's hand from his cheek and presses his own into it, taking in how small his fingers are compared to the vampire's, how calloused and dirty his skin in contrast. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because he's really here.

Without another word Sola darts forward and throws his arms around Johnny, kissing his lips and cheeks and any other surface he can reach while whispering apologies and affections with every spare breath. One in particular he keeps repeating.]

I love you too.

I'm sorry I doubted you.

[The fact Sola didn't pull away sends a flood of relief through Johnny and he smiles when his boyfriend takes his hand as though he didn't believe it was really there.

Then he had arms full of Hylian and Johnny held him tight to his chest. He clung to Sola, afraid if he loosened his grip at all Johnny would lose him. He couldn't let that happen, not after everything.]

I'm sorry I left, I'm not going anywhere now. I won't abandon you.

[Johnny cradled the thinner form against his body, wishing he could act as a shield against anything and everything that could hurt his loved one, even nightmares. He needed to protect Sola for as long as he possibly could, as long as the other needed him.

Golden eyes sought garnet ones and he kissed Sola gently.]

Will you forgive me for slipping out? For leaving you to think you were alone?

Will you forgive me for the times I wasn't there at the end of those dreams?

[He doesn't have words to respond, instead nodding and curling against Johnny's chest as he settles into his lap, still exhausted even after his short rest.]

Where did you go?

[He tries not to be hurt by the absence, given that Johnny has asked his forgiveness for it. There has to be some reason he would have gone, some errand he had to run.]

[He shifted his arms to hold Sola more securely, resting his back against the hearth so they could still feel the warmth of the fire.]

I went out to get us some money. It's not a whole lot, but it should be enough to cover things to start, once we leave here. There were some hang ups along the way and that delayed me.

[His eyes drifted to the bag and he nodded towards it.]

And I got you a dessert I thought you might like...but it can wait till morning, you should sleep more.

Hmm...I'll need to get a job here, something that can support us.

[The fire feels nice, as does Johnny's arms securely around him, keeping all the bad things at bay. The feeling that this may all be a dream hasn't dissipated entirely, not yet, but Sola continues to reason to himself it must be real, and even if it's not he would rather live the lie. He even smiles slightly, the earlier panic giving way to a cautious comfort.]

You're always taking care of us.

[His smile is old, somehow; the lines of worry and trial lending years to Sola's once completely youthful face. Granted he'll probably look better after a bath and some time with a proper diet.]

I'm still hungry. What did you get?

Edited 2013-01-11 06:12 (UTC)

They're called macarons, they're from the country I was born in.

[Johnny looked over at the bag by the door and deemed it too far away; they were warm and comfortable, why should they move?

He bit into his index finger and let a drop of blood land on the floor. Instantly, it started bubbling and steaming and a young, straw-blond maid with light blue, empty, eyes formed from it.]

Yuria...go get the bag by the door for me, will you?

[Silently, she nodded and did as she was told, brought the bag to her master and then stood, waiting for new orders nearby.

Johnny took a small package out of the bag and opened it up for Sola to see the multicolored pastries.]

[Red eyes gain back some of their luster in looking at the rainbow of treats at the bottom of the bag. He early begins salivating right there.]

They're all kinds of colors! Do they all taste different?

[He looks from the back up to Johnny's face, almost like an eager puppy having heard the word 'treat' from across the house and come running.]

[Johnny smiled, glad to see some of that energy he so loved in Sola back.]

They do! If there's a kinds you like more than the others, then I'll get those next time.

The whole box is yours, just don't make yourself sick on them, they're still sugar.

[Did you say something about being careful? Sorry but Sola's just going to pop a green one in his mouth whole. He has a little difficulty chewing around it for a moment, the pastry being quite a bit larger than bite sized, but he manages.]

It tastes like mint!

[Digging around in the bag eagerly, Sola produces a red one and holds it up to Johnny's lips for sampling.]

Try this one!

Edited 2013-01-11 23:00 (UTC)

[Johnny smiled softly at him and took a bite out of the offered pastry.]

Mmm~ Cherry. Thank you~

Hmm... I think the darker brown ones are chocolate~

Edited 2013-01-12 00:22 (UTC)

[At the mention of chocolate Sola goes diving into the bag and devours another one whole. And another after. He slows down on the next, taking a bite and actually chewing well before swallowing. Before all this, back in Vatheon, he could have devoured the entire bag and still been hungry. Now it says much for his state that he's eaten so few and already has slowed down.

Even so, he offers Johnny another small smile as he leans lightly against his chest again.]

They're good.

[Johnny curled around him protectively and pet his hair.]

Yuria, the blanket...

[The blood maid fetched a blanket and wrapped it around Sola's shoulders.

Johnny nodded and held his hand out. With a muttered 'Return' the maid dissolved and blood rushed back into the vampire's skin. Unfortunately, he was starting to reach the threshold of his tolerance and the spell took a bit more out of him than he'd been expecting; it only served to remind him he'd need to find some...thing to eat soon enough.

For now, the vampire smiled sleepily at Sola and rested his head against the wall behind him.]

Maybe, when you're ready to sleep some more, we'll go into one of the bedrooms; sleep on a proper bed.

[A bed, an actual bed. A pleased, if worn, smile plays across Sola's lips as he polishes off another macaron.]

It's been a long time since I slept in a bed.

[He doesn't seem aware of the implications of that statement, that he's been alone for that long, unable to care for himself. It would be embarrassing considering how self sufficient he'd become before that, but for now he doesn't care. He's tired still, only just now warming up, and feeling vaguely ill. The only thing he can focus on clearly is the rhythmic beating of Johnny's heart.]

[Johnny pressed his lips to the top of Sola's head, moved the macaron container away, and then shifted his grip to hold the smaller body more securely against him as he stood up.]

Let's fix that, then.

[It hurt to know how long he'd left Sola on his own and in a place about as hospitable as L.A. It was no wonder the Hylian was sick; Johnny wouldn't choose city life for him in the best of conditions.

The vampire moved them into what he assumed was the master bedroom and set Sola down on the large bed there, taking the Hylian's shoes off before tucking him in under the comforter.

Johnny crawled in on the other side of the bed, pulling the covers up over both of them and wrapping Sola back up in his arms. Hopefully, now, he would sleep peacefully.]

Get some rest, my dove. I will be here when you wake up. I swear to you.

[Sola doesn't respond with a word, but instead by curling into Johnny's chest, half hiding his face. Despite his admission that he hadn't slept in a bed for a long time, he doesn't seem to be making much of an effort to do so now, instead using Johnny for his pillow.

He sleeps the rest of the night this time, unmoving there with his ear over his matesprit's heart. In the morning, though, he's ill, requiring close care. He sleeps much of that day, not able to keep down more than a little water. The next is much the same, though he's a little more alert and manages a cracker or two before nightfall.

The third night they have to move. The family whose house they'd been squatting in returned and the two had been forced to rush and tumble out a window into the cool evening air. The shouts of the man of the house had followed them into the night. Luckily, Johnny had planned and they had enough money for a motel room, Sola's condition still weak at best. Over the next week he continues to improve, though he continues to cling to Johnny like a barnacle, shooting a barrage of questions and pathetic looks at the vampire should he need to leave for any amount of time. But one of them has to earn money somehow. They can't stay here forever, and Sola's as of yet still too weak to brave the elements for long, though he's getting much better and has even put on a bit of weight.]

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