makinglies | Lost and now I am found

Entry tags:

johnny,
sola

Lost and now I am found

[He could have sworn he'd been crushed. He'd been running down that passage way with the others and he'd...he'd stopped. He'd stopped in the middle of that attack and he let that cave-in fall on him.

And yet, here he was, in the middle of a bustling, futuristic, city. It was night...but a part of him vaguely wished it wasn't. It didn't matter. He was in a new place again. He'd lost Sola...and he'd lost everyone else too. He really wouldn't have minded if it just stopped.

He was so tired.

Still, unless he was going to find someone who would cut off his head or stab him in the heart, he wasn't going to get anywhere standing on this street corner.

The vampire found a way up onto a roof so he could look around. What he saw was technologically breath-taking. It was a mixture of modern and sci-fi and, if he'd been feeling himself, he might have been more fascinated. As it was, he was momentarily taken aback by the sight, but then moved on to trying to find...something.

The sight of a park in the middle of the city drew his eye, it wasn't like it was going to have answers for him, but right now he didn't want answers. He didn't care what this place was called or who was in it, but the idea of sitting around nature was the only thing that sounded good.

A flock of bats soared through the sky towards the park, careful not to go to high with all the air vehicles running around, and reformed in the branches of a tree in the middle of the park. This would do for now.]

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[The utter lack of reaction made Johnny go cold and he dropped the bag, it's contents now forgotten as he went closer to Sola.]

Hey...Sola...look at me.

[Why was he being ignored? What had he done? He hesitated.]

I'm sorry I left, I thought I'd be back before you woke up but...

[He promised he wouldn't leave, and yet that's exactly what he'd done...was that why Sola was being so despondent? But he'd be angry, not...this, right? Then what?

He knelt down in front of Sola and held out his hand, hoping it would be taken. He didn't want to reach out to the Hylian, not if he was going to jerk away again, he didn't think he could handle it.]

Did..did you have a nightmare? Is that why you're awake?

[Did he have a nightmare and Johnny wasn't there to chase it away? Was it about whatever he'd seen here? Was it Barry? ...Was it him?

The thought made his hand close in on itself and he started to pull it away. If it was because of him, because of what he'd done, he wouldn't blame Sola for not wanting him near.
...but if it wasn't him, he couldn't pull away...if Sola needed him, he should be there.

His hand opened back up, still offering to take Sola's.]

Edited 2013-01-10 07:18 (UTC)

[Sola's fingers curl up under the cuffs of his tattered boots as he stares at Johnny's hand, shoulders pinched and nervous, eyes again open and filled with longing just as much as distress.]

I don't want you to just be a dream...

[More tears follow their predecessors, tracking down Sola's cheeks. They fall to the floor almost audibly, so soft is the replica's voice.]

It hurts too much if you're not real. I-I thought so many times you were here but it was never you, so... so this can't...

[A cough interrupts Sola's words, wet and painful enough to make the Hylian grimace and pull one hand in against his chest, behind his knees so tightly curled into this thin frame.]

[He thought Johnny wasn't...
It made sense, if he thought about it. He shouldn't have left, not while Sola was asleep.]

But I am real, Sola, I promise. I just stepped out for a moment and I'm sorry for that, I shouldn't have.

[He brought his other hand up with the first and, slowly, brought them towards Sola's face.

Don't flinch. Don't flinch. Please, please, don't flinch...

Gently, he reached out to wipe the tears away and hold that face he thought was so beautiful in his hands.]

I told you: I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not an illusion.

I'm here and I love you.

Edited 2013-01-10 07:45 (UTC)

[He doesn't pull away. He wants Johnny to be there, he wants so very badly for his boyfriend to actually be able to reach out and touch him and wipe his tears, force everything to make sense again. But it doesn't work like that. Just wishing doesn't make something true. He closes his eyes again, waiting for the feeling of that large warm hand against his cheek, that comforting feeling that loosens the painful tightness in his chest just a little before vanishing into nothing, never really having been there in the first place. He can indulge in this, at least, before the figment is gone.

But Johnny's hand on his cheek startles his eyes open again in a sudden realization; his hand is cold.

It would be, of course, the vampire having been out in the winter weather for a solid few hours, but in every one of Sola's dreams, Johnny's hands had been warm and comforting. Here they're uncomfortably cold, enough to give him a little shiver, enough to snap him more to his senses and press the realization home.

Johnny is really here.

Carefully Sola takes Johnny's hand from his cheek and presses his own into it, taking in how small his fingers are compared to the vampire's, how calloused and dirty his skin in contrast. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because he's really here.

Without another word Sola darts forward and throws his arms around Johnny, kissing his lips and cheeks and any other surface he can reach while whispering apologies and affections with every spare breath. One in particular he keeps repeating.]

I love you too.

I'm sorry I doubted you.

[The fact Sola didn't pull away sends a flood of relief through Johnny and he smiles when his boyfriend takes his hand as though he didn't believe it was really there.

Then he had arms full of Hylian and Johnny held him tight to his chest. He clung to Sola, afraid if he loosened his grip at all Johnny would lose him. He couldn't let that happen, not after everything.]

I'm sorry I left, I'm not going anywhere now. I won't abandon you.

[Johnny cradled the thinner form against his body, wishing he could act as a shield against anything and everything that could hurt his loved one, even nightmares. He needed to protect Sola for as long as he possibly could, as long as the other needed him.

Golden eyes sought garnet ones and he kissed Sola gently.]

Will you forgive me for slipping out? For leaving you to think you were alone?

Will you forgive me for the times I wasn't there at the end of those dreams?

[He doesn't have words to respond, instead nodding and curling against Johnny's chest as he settles into his lap, still exhausted even after his short rest.]

Where did you go?

[He tries not to be hurt by the absence, given that Johnny has asked his forgiveness for it. There has to be some reason he would have gone, some errand he had to run.]

[He shifted his arms to hold Sola more securely, resting his back against the hearth so they could still feel the warmth of the fire.]

I went out to get us some money. It's not a whole lot, but it should be enough to cover things to start, once we leave here. There were some hang ups along the way and that delayed me.

[His eyes drifted to the bag and he nodded towards it.]

And I got you a dessert I thought you might like...but it can wait till morning, you should sleep more.

Hmm...I'll need to get a job here, something that can support us.

[The fire feels nice, as does Johnny's arms securely around him, keeping all the bad things at bay. The feeling that this may all be a dream hasn't dissipated entirely, not yet, but Sola continues to reason to himself it must be real, and even if it's not he would rather live the lie. He even smiles slightly, the earlier panic giving way to a cautious comfort.]

You're always taking care of us.

[His smile is old, somehow; the lines of worry and trial lending years to Sola's once completely youthful face. Granted he'll probably look better after a bath and some time with a proper diet.]

I'm still hungry. What did you get?

Edited 2013-01-11 06:12 (UTC)

They're called macarons, they're from the country I was born in.

[Johnny looked over at the bag by the door and deemed it too far away; they were warm and comfortable, why should they move?

He bit into his index finger and let a drop of blood land on the floor. Instantly, it started bubbling and steaming and a young, straw-blond maid with light blue, empty, eyes formed from it.]

Yuria...go get the bag by the door for me, will you?

[Silently, she nodded and did as she was told, brought the bag to her master and then stood, waiting for new orders nearby.

Johnny took a small package out of the bag and opened it up for Sola to see the multicolored pastries.]

[Red eyes gain back some of their luster in looking at the rainbow of treats at the bottom of the bag. He early begins salivating right there.]

They're all kinds of colors! Do they all taste different?

[He looks from the back up to Johnny's face, almost like an eager puppy having heard the word 'treat' from across the house and come running.]

[Johnny smiled, glad to see some of that energy he so loved in Sola back.]

They do! If there's a kinds you like more than the others, then I'll get those next time.

The whole box is yours, just don't make yourself sick on them, they're still sugar.

[Did you say something about being careful? Sorry but Sola's just going to pop a green one in his mouth whole. He has a little difficulty chewing around it for a moment, the pastry being quite a bit larger than bite sized, but he manages.]

It tastes like mint!

[Digging around in the bag eagerly, Sola produces a red one and holds it up to Johnny's lips for sampling.]

Try this one!

Edited 2013-01-11 23:00 (UTC)

[Johnny smiled softly at him and took a bite out of the offered pastry.]

Mmm~ Cherry. Thank you~

Hmm... I think the darker brown ones are chocolate~

Edited 2013-01-12 00:22 (UTC)

[At the mention of chocolate Sola goes diving into the bag and devours another one whole. And another after. He slows down on the next, taking a bite and actually chewing well before swallowing. Before all this, back in Vatheon, he could have devoured the entire bag and still been hungry. Now it says much for his state that he's eaten so few and already has slowed down.

Even so, he offers Johnny another small smile as he leans lightly against his chest again.]

They're good.

[Johnny curled around him protectively and pet his hair.]

Yuria, the blanket...

[The blood maid fetched a blanket and wrapped it around Sola's shoulders.

Johnny nodded and held his hand out. With a muttered 'Return' the maid dissolved and blood rushed back into the vampire's skin. Unfortunately, he was starting to reach the threshold of his tolerance and the spell took a bit more out of him than he'd been expecting; it only served to remind him he'd need to find some...thing to eat soon enough.

For now, the vampire smiled sleepily at Sola and rested his head against the wall behind him.]

Maybe, when you're ready to sleep some more, we'll go into one of the bedrooms; sleep on a proper bed.

[A bed, an actual bed. A pleased, if worn, smile plays across Sola's lips as he polishes off another macaron.]

It's been a long time since I slept in a bed.

[He doesn't seem aware of the implications of that statement, that he's been alone for that long, unable to care for himself. It would be embarrassing considering how self sufficient he'd become before that, but for now he doesn't care. He's tired still, only just now warming up, and feeling vaguely ill. The only thing he can focus on clearly is the rhythmic beating of Johnny's heart.]

[Johnny pressed his lips to the top of Sola's head, moved the macaron container away, and then shifted his grip to hold the smaller body more securely against him as he stood up.]

Let's fix that, then.

[It hurt to know how long he'd left Sola on his own and in a place about as hospitable as L.A. It was no wonder the Hylian was sick; Johnny wouldn't choose city life for him in the best of conditions.

The vampire moved them into what he assumed was the master bedroom and set Sola down on the large bed there, taking the Hylian's shoes off before tucking him in under the comforter.

Johnny crawled in on the other side of the bed, pulling the covers up over both of them and wrapping Sola back up in his arms. Hopefully, now, he would sleep peacefully.]

Get some rest, my dove. I will be here when you wake up. I swear to you.

[Sola doesn't respond with a word, but instead by curling into Johnny's chest, half hiding his face. Despite his admission that he hadn't slept in a bed for a long time, he doesn't seem to be making much of an effort to do so now, instead using Johnny for his pillow.

He sleeps the rest of the night this time, unmoving there with his ear over his matesprit's heart. In the morning, though, he's ill, requiring close care. He sleeps much of that day, not able to keep down more than a little water. The next is much the same, though he's a little more alert and manages a cracker or two before nightfall.

The third night they have to move. The family whose house they'd been squatting in returned and the two had been forced to rush and tumble out a window into the cool evening air. The shouts of the man of the house had followed them into the night. Luckily, Johnny had planned and they had enough money for a motel room, Sola's condition still weak at best. Over the next week he continues to improve, though he continues to cling to Johnny like a barnacle, shooting a barrage of questions and pathetic looks at the vampire should he need to leave for any amount of time. But one of them has to earn money somehow. They can't stay here forever, and Sola's as of yet still too weak to brave the elements for long, though he's getting much better and has even put on a bit of weight.]

[Johnny had been really scared those first few days, more scared than he'd been in a while; he thought he was going to lose Sola. Hylians were just as frail as humans and, for a while there, he feared every second that went by and Sola wasn't better.

He barely left the younger man for more than a few minutes at a time and even after they had to move, he stayed as close as possible. But he needed to get food for his 'patient' and....eventually himself too...but the money would be running out soon, so he had to do something about that.

He could act as merchant to stores every now and then, but it was hardly steady...still, until Sola was better, something steady wasn't his first concern.

[Money. With the manager of the motel now only allowing them to stay in exchange for one or both of them helping around the building (maintenance, cleaning, etc), it's become a topic of conversation more often than is comfortable. Sola's finally recovered enough to go a little stir crazy staying in the room at all times, and so it's the Hylian that suggests a wider avenue of opportunity. Why not make deliveries like he used to in Vatheon?]

I'm really good at it an we could definitely make money that way so we could get our own apartment instead of staying here, right?

[Johnny ran a hand through his hair as he watched the city outside through the small part in the curtain - all he could afford with the sun still bright in the sky.]

I don't know...I mean, yeah you could, but it's probably not going to get you enough for anything more than the bare essentials, if that.

[Really, he didn't mind living here and helping the manager out on occasion, it really wasn't hard work in his opinion, but he could understand Sola's desire to move out, too.

No matter what different ideas he came up with, his mind kept flitting back to his one, true, back-up plan. It was easy, good money, and if he played his cards right he might even find an alternative to picking off scumbags in the middle of the night.

But he knew Sola wouldn't like it.]

I've been thinking...there's an option I'm thinking about looking into that would provide well enough. Combined with your deliveries, we'd probably pretty comfortable.

[He paused, watching the sun go lower. He didn't really want to go into specifics...but he knew Sola always worried if Johnny didn't say where he was going.]

When the sun sets, I'll head over to the red light district and see what I can find.

What?! No!

[Sola knows what goes on there. He'd only been once in his wanderings when he'd first arrived., but it was all to obvious they dealt in the things that Barry had. Everyone there seemed stretched, fake, too loud or bright and always too physical. It had made him uncomfortable, and the idea of Johnny in the middle of that place on purpose makes him panic.

He grabs the vampire's arm, clinging to it as if it were his only lifeline.]

You can't go there to work! I'll find something that pays better, but you can't! You can't!

[He brings the back of Johnny hand to his forehead, repeating it over and over. He can't he can't he can't...]

[His gaze rips away from the outside world to focus on Sola; waves of shame and sadness sweeping away anything else. It wasn't shame at what he was willing to do, but at who he hadn't thought of. Sure, he'd been thinking of Sola while considering the job, but he hadn't thought about how it might make his dove feel. If the roles were reversed he wouldn't be too pleased with the idea either.]

I'm sorry...

[He turned and went to brush Sola's cheek with his free hand.]

I didn't think. If you don't want me to go, I won't, I'll find something else.

[It takes a few moments after Johnny apologizes for Sola to calm down. He'd fought so hard to get Johnny out of that situation, to free him from Barry once and for all that the very idea of his matesprit being in that situation again, voluntarily, for him, threatens to make him sick all over again. Not to mention the mental image of some stranger's hands all over his Johnny makes Sola's skin crawl.

The Hylian clutches Johnny's hand again bringing it from his cheek to his lips and planting a kiss there.]

Maybe... maybe you could sell clothes? You're good at clothes.

[His voice is shaky, still recovering from his earlier fear.]

[The kiss to his hand catches him off guard for a moment and he brings his other hand up to thread through Sola's hair.]

Yeah, maybe. I'll find something. Something other than that.

I don't want to do anything to hurt you..

['again' and 'more' battled to be at the end of that sentence but all it resulted in was him trailing off, his expression saddened.

All he wanted to do was make this one person safe and happy and it never seemed like he could do either.]

Edited 2013-02-01 03:36 (UTC)

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