Johnny Rayflo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_heavens_adam) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
makinglies2012-08-04 02:56 pm
not_heavens_adam) wrote in makinglies2012-08-04 02:56 pm
Entry tags:
In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby
[He sat by the edge of the bubble, back to the cold barrier and eyes trained on the nearest tree, unseeing.
It had been three weeks since he'd come back and torn out the throat of that local who'd only been trying to help. It had been so long since he'd let himself get that hungry and he had no where to turn to for his lust....not until that poor woman had gotten a little too close, smelled a little too sweet, the blood flowing through her veins was a siren's call to his starved body.
His fangs had sliced through her neck and killed the cries in her throat as they snuffed out the life in her body.
He'd drained her dry, something else he hadn't done in ages.
And even after he'd regained his senses and sat there with her in his arms...even after everyone had known what he'd done, how much they were wrong, because he was a monster, always had been, always would be....even after all of that....they'd comforted him. They'd said it wasn't his fault, that this didn't make him a monster.
He couldn't believe it. He couldn't accept and attempt to process as he had before, this was too much. Either everyone here was too stupid or too perfect....either way...they couldn't.....they couldn't possibly be real.
No one would sweep something like that aside and call something like him a friend.
It wasn't possible.
There was really only one option left, one thing left in his swirling mind that made sense, that could reconcile how incredibly impossible this all was: he really had lost his mind at some point and had broken. and that break had caused his mind, in it's own defence, to create a perfect world where a vampire could have friends and a boyfriend and people he could rely on and they would always love him no matter what.
Sola, Otoha, Serph, Crowley, Maddie, Azi, Ky, Fai,Toki, Vatheon...it was all fake. A world he'd created to escape. He was probably currently stuck in the torturous hands of Barry, the demon's plaything for all eternity, and his mind had just given up.
It made sense.
And it made him cold. Everything, the trees, the faces he'd grown to love and trust....it was all fake. There was no such thing as an Eden.
All of this had only broken him further and he'd pulled away from everything and everyone he 'loved.' It would be easier, when the illusion broke, if he wasn't attached. He just needed to accept this. This was his new reality.]
It had been three weeks since he'd come back and torn out the throat of that local who'd only been trying to help. It had been so long since he'd let himself get that hungry and he had no where to turn to for his lust....not until that poor woman had gotten a little too close, smelled a little too sweet, the blood flowing through her veins was a siren's call to his starved body.
His fangs had sliced through her neck and killed the cries in her throat as they snuffed out the life in her body.
He'd drained her dry, something else he hadn't done in ages.
And even after he'd regained his senses and sat there with her in his arms...even after everyone had known what he'd done, how much they were wrong, because he was a monster, always had been, always would be....even after all of that....they'd comforted him. They'd said it wasn't his fault, that this didn't make him a monster.
He couldn't believe it. He couldn't accept and attempt to process as he had before, this was too much. Either everyone here was too stupid or too perfect....either way...they couldn't.....they couldn't possibly be real.
No one would sweep something like that aside and call something like him a friend.
It wasn't possible.
There was really only one option left, one thing left in his swirling mind that made sense, that could reconcile how incredibly impossible this all was: he really had lost his mind at some point and had broken. and that break had caused his mind, in it's own defence, to create a perfect world where a vampire could have friends and a boyfriend and people he could rely on and they would always love him no matter what.
Sola, Otoha, Serph, Crowley, Maddie, Azi, Ky, Fai,Toki, Vatheon...it was all fake. A world he'd created to escape. He was probably currently stuck in the torturous hands of Barry, the demon's plaything for all eternity, and his mind had just given up.
It made sense.
And it made him cold. Everything, the trees, the faces he'd grown to love and trust....it was all fake. There was no such thing as an Eden.
All of this had only broken him further and he'd pulled away from everything and everyone he 'loved.' It would be easier, when the illusion broke, if he wasn't attached. He just needed to accept this. This was his new reality.]
no subject
I am weak. If I wasn't, that woman wouldn't have died and I wouldn't have made this place to begin with.
....you must be the self-loathing part of me. Or, perhaps, simply my hatred...
no subject
*He grips Johnny's chin and grins. His own fangs are visible as his mouth opens to let his tongue slither out, snakelike.*
What would Sola think if he knew you'd convinced yourself that he's not real after all, I wonder...
no subject
But he's not....and neither are you or anyone else here.
no subject
Do you want to test that theory of yours?
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Nothing you can do would actually affect anything.
no subject
no subject
Whatever.
no subject
*he licks his lips again as he brandishes the sword at Johnny.* But who am I to say no to such a gift?
*the sword's tip is pressed into Johnny's shoulder hard enough to draw blood.*
no subject
If you're trying to scare me, it won't work.
no subject
Maybe I should flay you alive. That tends to work.