lysoke (
lysoke) wrote in
makinglies2025-09-27 05:54 pm
Entry tags:
Respite
Respite
The lake is dark and calm with a small breeze by the time they arrive at its shores. The stars above reflect perfectly in the still waters before them, and a small copse of trees lines one side, starting on their side of the river and jumping along the other side.
Chris takes a moment to re-prepare the spell he hadn't been able to cast in five years and gestures vaguely to the area around them as a suggestion for what the others can do. Gathering in the forest, sitting on a nearby over-turned log, it didn't matter to him. What he needed was an hour without interruption.
He settles down on the ground and presses his hands together as he closes his eyes to focus on the image in his mind. Within minutes, the white, shimmering outline of a large building forms in thin air. The gentle glow of its light barely spreads from the growing structure.
As promised, it takes the full hour before the slowly filling-in form is complete and finishes with a jaunty, echoing click.
Chris takes a breath, now sitting in front of the stoop that looks annoyingly like the one he'd passed earlier in the night, and gets back onto stiff legs as the glow fades away, leaving smooth, but otherwise unremarkable, white stone behind.
"Here we are. Home for the next however long we need. I'll start working on food and water next." Once they're inside, anyway, which is why he takes back his things from where he'd left them and leads them into the temple, marked only with the carving of ravens on the black wood of the double doors.
Inside is something just shy of opulence. The same polished white stone makes the walls, though black and gold veins course through the marble. The floor is the inverse, a black stone with white, shimmering speckles like a night sky if looked at for long enough. A single window faced East high up on the wall. The temple was alight with sconces at regular intervals along the walls, illuminating an open area that held all the offerings of comfort Chris could think of.
A large hot-springs-like bath, complete with a miniature waterfall, took up the left side of the room and ran into a smaller, similar bath at dog-height. Next to it, covered by a retractable screen, was a shower. Along the back wall, a raven's head emblazoned the white wall in black and watched out over a set of tables, chairs, and a couple of sofas. The majority of the center was clear for walking, but the right edge and right side of the room held a deeply inset pit of pillows, cushions, and blankets in various soft (black and purple) fabrics.
Finally, in the middle of the right-hand wall, there were two closed doors that, when inspected, revealed one room with a large, soft chair and rug, while the other room was made of nothing but stone with jars, pitchers, and plates on shelves along two walls and a cork wall perfect for catching daggers on the other side.
"I hope it works for everyone. I didn't...I didn't make separate bedrooms this time. I didn't figure we would need them tonight."
Chris takes a moment to re-prepare the spell he hadn't been able to cast in five years and gestures vaguely to the area around them as a suggestion for what the others can do. Gathering in the forest, sitting on a nearby over-turned log, it didn't matter to him. What he needed was an hour without interruption.
He settles down on the ground and presses his hands together as he closes his eyes to focus on the image in his mind. Within minutes, the white, shimmering outline of a large building forms in thin air. The gentle glow of its light barely spreads from the growing structure.
As promised, it takes the full hour before the slowly filling-in form is complete and finishes with a jaunty, echoing click.
Chris takes a breath, now sitting in front of the stoop that looks annoyingly like the one he'd passed earlier in the night, and gets back onto stiff legs as the glow fades away, leaving smooth, but otherwise unremarkable, white stone behind.
"Here we are. Home for the next however long we need. I'll start working on food and water next." Once they're inside, anyway, which is why he takes back his things from where he'd left them and leads them into the temple, marked only with the carving of ravens on the black wood of the double doors.
Inside is something just shy of opulence. The same polished white stone makes the walls, though black and gold veins course through the marble. The floor is the inverse, a black stone with white, shimmering speckles like a night sky if looked at for long enough. A single window faced East high up on the wall. The temple was alight with sconces at regular intervals along the walls, illuminating an open area that held all the offerings of comfort Chris could think of.
A large hot-springs-like bath, complete with a miniature waterfall, took up the left side of the room and ran into a smaller, similar bath at dog-height. Next to it, covered by a retractable screen, was a shower. Along the back wall, a raven's head emblazoned the white wall in black and watched out over a set of tables, chairs, and a couple of sofas. The majority of the center was clear for walking, but the right edge and right side of the room held a deeply inset pit of pillows, cushions, and blankets in various soft (black and purple) fabrics.
Finally, in the middle of the right-hand wall, there were two closed doors that, when inspected, revealed one room with a large, soft chair and rug, while the other room was made of nothing but stone with jars, pitchers, and plates on shelves along two walls and a cork wall perfect for catching daggers on the other side.
"I hope it works for everyone. I didn't...I didn't make separate bedrooms this time. I didn't figure we would need them tonight."

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She manages to keep her breaths steady as she lets down her hair, but anything else she was going to leave on the table isn't happening. Her face is clear as she rushes into the shower and turns on the water, not caring that she's still in her clothes or that the water is somehow hot enough right away or even that she forgot her soap. Why would she care? It's helpful that things are like this. It's good that she can hide in here and no one can--
They'll hear her and try to come for her. Fuck. No. She can't let them. She'll be fine. She is-- will-- wants to be fine. For them. Always for everyone else.
Her ass is on the floor and knees pulled to her chest so she can bury her face in them before she even has a thought to spare about where she is. It doesn't matter. Nothing apparently does when they're simply copies of other people, living a life on stolen memories for who fucking knows what reason. Nothing matters when everyone they've loved who was taken before them is just gone, destroyed somehow before they even knew that was possible. Nothing matters when there's no way for them to tell those they still have left how to get out without meeting some horrible, definitive end.
Nothing fucking matters... except what they have now.
Is it enough?
Is she enough? For them, those few she still has left?
Does it matter if she isn't?
There's too much to think about. Too many things she knows and can't reckon with while there's still too many things she doesn't know. She keeps her face as tucked into herself as she can, her arms over her head, and bites down on her lower lip hard enough to bleed to keep any sounds she could make to herself. They don't need to know. They can't know. They need space, too. They don't need to listen to her. They have their own shit to carry without her adding onto it. She only has to hold on until her chest stops heaving and there's nothing left to let out, then she can wash off and rejoin them. No one needs a smile right now; all they need is to get through the night to tomorrow. Rest and getting clean is all they need. Everything else can wait.
Even if she can't.
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Another thing Chris wasn't letting himself digest just yet: Wolfe being here, being himself. Maybe when he got to the rest. Or when it was just them again...for now, it had to just be like he'd never vanished.
Luckily, the two different reactions to what Chris knows to be little more than Tharin vermin are...distracting enough. He shakes his head.
"They're fine to eat. Probably better in a stew than on their own, but they'll be fine to eat. They just talk, they're not-" He looks from Wolfe to Jon. "They're like rabbits and rats, they're just fancy pests that someone near the border likes to breed. They come from the region across the river; they're harmless."
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In any case, there's the creature to focus on.
"It's a mechanical little monster from the 90s. It was used to spy on people, record secrets. I'm not eating that. It-" It would be a lie to say that's his childhood, considering he'd never wanted anything less his life as a boy, but others at school had had them. "Cut it open. Does it even have blood? It should be filled with gears and wires."
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He sits heavily down on one of the chairs, wishing he could reliably get up from the pile of pillows to settle there instead and knowing with how long he's done little but remain strapped to a hospital bed for the past month, that's not going to be possible. Truth be told his body aches. Far more than it would have without his forced sabbatical. He's in poor shape, creaking knees and softer in the middle, on top of feeling hollowed out and brittle. He's not hungry either, but that he knows what to do with. They have to eat, keep up their strength, if they're going to keep moving.
"Just give me a moment and I can start skinning them. I'm sure there's an extra knife around to use..." Since they'd taken his away when they pretended to send him home. "You two go ahead and get settled. I'm sure Jon wants a bath and Chris you spent a lot of magic to get this place up, you must be tired."
Old habits may be coming back, but however much he's hurting or suffering from exhaustion and existentialism, he needs to step in and take care of things. Its how he was brought up, and it's always been his job.
He just... needs to sit for a minute before he gets to it...
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He brings both to where Hawke’s sitting and places them on the table nearby.
“Let the girls have them. As I said, they’re not much meat, I’ve got food covered for tonight, you’re exhausted, and you’ll be needed for more than your carving soon enough.” He gestures to the figurines: one of the very clockwork dragon they’d seen earlier and one of Wolfe himself, both posable.
“Look at this. The city gave them to me. They’re not cursed aside from having gotten them at all. You’ll be delighted to know you fit perfectly on the dragon’s back.”
He reaches over as he explains and presses a light healing spell into his touch on Wolfe’s shoulder, then leans in to kiss the side of his head.
“Rest until you decide to go join your lady and clean up.”
He takes a small step back towards Jon and uncharacteristically points at him. “And you! I expect you in the hot springs with me soon enough, do whatever you need to afore I come over there and strip you.”
It’s a largely empty threat, he wouldn’t strip Jon…but he was going to get everyone in the springs with him before they turned in.
For good measure, he whistles twice to Little Thunder and gestures to the pool.
“You too: bath. Gods only know what’s lingering on all of us.”
cw: mention of blood and body horror
But choosing to believe, to let go and trust, is what's let him actually get close to the cleric, and the mage, for that matter. He's still miles away from that with Amelia, but they have nothing but time ahead with each other now, it would seem. After she has her breakdown. He can taste the fear, practically sense her collapse, and it's enough to tug his attention away from the Furbies. For now. He's certainly not keen on watching a pair of dogs rip them apart.
The sudden point and direction from Chris has him blinking and reflexively starting to undress before he catches himself. "I- There's a woman here, and I've hardly brought my swim trunks along." Never mind this is a woman who's seen him in incredibly compromising conditions before. "I'll come in once she's settled."
And so saying, he hefts his bag and carries it over to the table where Amelia had set her own things. He does have pajamas, at least, just soft pants and his ragged What the Ghost?! T-shirt. Jon takes those out and puts them on the table, followed by Malcolm's journal. He doesn't say anything about it, just leaves it there for Wolfe to take or leave as he likes.
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It's too absurd, Chris having grabbed the ridiculous figures as necessary to take with him, Jon having spent longer in Duplicity than any of them still shy about stripping down, the strange sexism most people from Earth seem to have even when Wolfe knows they know the woman in question could upend them with a look. It pulls a loud belly laugh from him, a guffaw that has Wolfe bending double trying to catch his breath before long. They're out, they survived, and they're using it to argue about bath time and play with toys. It's ludicrous and marvelous that they should be so lucky as to be able to experience this together in Chris' world like they've always dreamed. Or maybe not just like they've dreamed, but that's even better. If it was perfect, it wouldn't feel real.
But it is real. Andraste's pyre, it's entirely real because they don't have a place for a fire and there's blood and fur on his girls' muzzles and he knows Amelia is falling apart in the other room while Jon grouses about swim trunks and Chris tries to tell Wolfe once again that he doesn't have to take charge of everything. He laughs himself hoarse until he's wheezing for lack of air, tears accumulating at the corners of his eyes and rolling down his cheeks, wetting his beard. He laughs until his lungs hurt and his stomach clenches and he can't raise his head from where he's doubled over in the chair. He laughs until it's not laughter anymore, just tears and noise and pain and joy and what feels like every little drop of what's been keeping him going while alone for so long, so sure no one would even know to come for him. So sure he was going to fade to nothing but food for a dying god and that eventually no one would be left who remembered him.
He cries for those he's lost - those they've all lost - and those they left behind. He cries for those he couldn't save. He cries for not knowing what else to do, what the next step is, and having no answers.
"Fuck," he rasps through gritted teeth, sounding watery and desperate for air, and buries his face in his hands. This isn't how he wanted to fall apart.
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Chris throws a look back to Jon to assure him that Chris could handle this if his Archivist decided he wasn't in the mood to offer hugs, though he doesn't close them off either. Wolfe was Jon's friend too and, unlike Amelia, Wolfe would likely actually appreciate his presence when he was falling apart.
That doesn't stop him from mouthing the words 'I'm not done with you, mister' to his other partner, regardless. It could wait until Wolfe's tears stopped.
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Whatever trivial concerns he'd had before are set aside as his gaze shifts sharply to Chris. The cleric is already stepping in to soothe far better than Jon knows he could. There's a part of him that wants to shy away, to hide in the room with the sofa with his own emotions. He can't let himself crack like the rest of them. He's broken too many ways too many times already. Amelia's breaking down, Wolfe is breaking down, Chris is likely to break down soon. He doesn't have any particular right to it, does he?
Jon has gotten most of what he wanted. A new world without the Dread Powers' influence (for now, provided the Eye doesn't try to start something with the gods of Faerun), Chris and now Wolfe back, escape from Duplicity. He doesn't have Martin... his Martin. Both of his Martins. Dead and worse, given what Wolfe has said already. Morrigan, as well. Ava, Alessandro, Lyall, Jamie. Christ, there are so many names. And add onto all the people who went through the other doors they'd been bound for. Tim and Jamie. Leeds and Ororo.
He registers the look from Chris, but pretends not to, nor to understand what's been said. Instead, Jon fights his impulse to retreat and moves around tentatively to place a hand on Wolfe's shoulder. "It's..." It's not all right. Nothing is fine. "We're going to get through this."
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It takes Wolfe some time to calm down. Not an unbearably long time, though it feels that way to him. Any time spent paralyzed by his own woe feels unbearable, but he knows the others wouldn't see it that way and would admonish him for thinking it himself, just as he would them. Funny how his own medicine is just as sweet as it is bitter.
At length, Wolfe sighs into the fabric of Chris' shirt, stooped and spent. He let's his hand drop from Jon's unless his friend does anything to hold onto Wolfe's fingers. He nearly apologizes but he doesn't want the protest he'll get for even beginning to say the words. "Thank you" comes out instead.
"I should see to Amelia, its been awhile..." He wants to, but Chris' hand in his hair is something that he'd imagined more than once in his captivity, fingers sliding through the strands in such a way that tugged at Wolfe's heart in memory and does so now more fully. Its hard to break away. He inhales a rattling breath and swipes at his eyes, still remaining with his forehead pressed against Chris' middle and leaning just a little into Jon's hand, not caring that its awkward.
"...You could come as well? I doubt she'd mind." He gives Jon a sideline glance, the ghost of a cheeky grin on his face that reflects in his eyes, even if he's half obscured by his own shoulder. "She might just mind if you join us, though. You should probably start your bath without us."
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When Wolfe doesn’t move of his own accord, Chris pulls back himself and leans in to press a kiss to his mage’s lips, a brief taste that makes that buried ache pang before he buries it again.
“Go on. You’re better for soft than I am.”
That fetid feeling of resentment after Wolfe had vanished when nearly everyone in creation seemed to be there to help Amelia while Chris’ support were all grieving with only two people to even give voice to how Chris might feel snags at him now. Let them figure themselves out first, he wasn’t alone just yet and he could wait for the rest.
“She needs you for more’n just this and I’ve a ridiculous brat of a man to keep me busy.”
He waves Wolfe toward the shower with no intention of hearing ‘no.’
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"Go on, then. Use your hard edges to soften his," he says with another grin to Jon, one he hopes gets across that he thinks they'll get through this too. They just have to try.
--
After a brief pass by the dogs to let them know they can eat their kills - which apparently they'd already decided was the case and made a bloody mess of the corner near the door that Wolfe used magic to make a less grisly scene - Wolfe approaches the shower. It's just a screen that separates it from the rest of the extremely open concept floorplan, but something in how its places obscures not just sight but also sound. Maybe its magic, he doesn't know, but he's grateful all the same.
Boots come off, then blood-stained shirt, but thats it before Wolfe pads barefoot into the shower area to find Amelia just how he thought he would: a fully clothed and sodden lump on the floor. With a swallowed groan of effort, Wolfe lowers himself down to the floor with her in the heated spray, gently brushing her shoulder until he gets her eyes on him. Without a word and making no effort to hide the splotchy redness crying causes to paint his face, he simply opens his arms, inviting her in against him with a gentle, fragile smile.
Maker take him, seeing her even like this feels the same as coming home. Tears sting his eyes again and he just... let's them. Its alright just to be what they're going to be right now. As long as they're together.
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He starts pulling away when Wolfe does, edging toward the quiet room while the other men have a final discussion. When Chris starts moving for him, though, the edging becomes more of a quick step.
“You should go with him. I told you I’m not undressing when Amelia might walk out of the shower at any moment. You might as well see to her. And yourself. We could all do with a shower before blooding up your hot springs.”
If he just pretends he’s fine, then Chris will tend to the others who need it more. Clearly.
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Luckily, his legs are longer.
He crosses the room, wings unfolding as he goes, so that when he gets to Jon, his Archivist is pinned between door and feather and cleric.
“They’ll be fine. They need each other without me right now. Which means, despite your best efforts, you’re not escaping me.”
He reaches down and cups Jon’s chin with one hand, green eyes intent on studying his boyfriend.
“Why’re you trying to dodge out from letting someone care?”
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And is promptly dislodged by Chris tilting his chin up with a warm hand. It takes an enormous amount of effort not to melt into the touch and give in immediately to whatever it is the cleric wants. But Jon likes to imagine he's made of somewhat sterner stuff than that.
"I'm not the one whose world is falling apart. I knew our being... copies was a possibility. That they might be storing people away to torture and kill in worse ways. I've already had those existential crises." More than once. Maybe a few more times in the future, but he's trying not to think too hard about it. "And there's only so much 'care' to go around. They need it more. You need it more, probably. Your whole plan for being here was just upended. Why are you trying to comfort everyone else?"
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"Knowing it's a possibility and knowing it's true are two different things, love." He knows Jon knows that conceptually, even if he deems it different for himself for whatever reason. "And I have plenty of care for those who're here. I wouldn't be if I didn't."
He wasn't that selfless.
"But as for why...wish I could tell you it's out of goodness or love. Unfortunately, I guess it's just because it's what I can do. I should be cleaning up a war, healing, taking stock, fighting with the others to make them believe you're meant to be there too. I had a hundred different arguments and speeches ready...but there's nowhere to put them. So I can do this."
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"And now we're- I don't know what I'm going to do here, Chris. I'm not good at the things all of you are. I'm from the-" He holds back on saying 'modern world.' "A world more like Duplicity than this one when it comes to technology and comforts. I can't hunt." Not for anything they can eat. "I don't know how to build a fire. I've only just started moving past basics with a dagger. I have 'dietary needs' that are hard to deal with.
"It just feels like I'm going to be more a burden than a help to you now." At least if they'd had the castle and all of that, he could have fallen back on being some sort of scholar, recording everyone's experiences with the dragon, starting an archive for the city. "That's why you should be comforting people who- people who can actually contribute something useful to us as a party." Because that's what they are now. Some bizarre little 'adventuring party,' like a fantasy game.
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"Hold on...I'm gonna assume it's cause we're tired and unsettled and grieving that you just implied that after all of our years together, I'd consider you worth less of my time for the perceived contribution to this party. A perception I'm afraid your education is limited on, clearly. My fault for not being clear from the start."
He leans in a little closer, a brow raising as he does so. "I don't need you to fight or hunt or even charm people, Jon. I need you because I need you. Because I haven't been in a relationship with anyone as long as I've been with you, even Wolfe by a measurable bit. You'll be a help to us because of this." He reaches up to tap Jon's forehead. "You're the smartest of us. You eat information like you're starving and, even if this is my world, there's so much I don't know that I have little doubt you'll learn and internalize in a snap. I need you cause your mind is sharp and you'll likely learn first what we can eat safely and what'll kill us, and you'll see things we won't simply because you come from another world, another perspective. I've no doubt we're all gonna need you as much as you'll need us to make sure nothing takes a bite out of you. So...no more of that, alright?"
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“You- I mean, you don’t know that for sure. I can barely even read or write common. What happens if whatever translation effect we had in the City goes away?” He remembers the time that had gone out in Duplicity, how frightening and confusing it had been. They’d managed to get by, but miming wouldn’t work for every person in Faerûn, and having people think he’s completely illiterate… the shame would break him before anything else they’ve learned.
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Cool fingers touch her shoulder, barely there yet more than enough for Amelia to know who they belong to. She turns her face to look at him, sees those open arms, and what little order she'd managed to find within herself over the past few minutes falls apart again.
Wolfe. Her Wolfe. Their Wolfe. Here on the floor with her under water that's much too hot still for how long she's been in here.
Dreams, she needs this. She needs him.
Within seconds she's tucked against his side, crying again but the sound far more happy than it was when she got in here by herself. Things are complicated and everything is both good and wrong at the same time, but Wolfe is at her side again. For the first time since he was taken from them, she feels home again. It's a feeling she worried she might never have again, but here it is again, in Faerun, in this temple that their cleric conjured for them, in a shower he made for all of them so they could be clean and warm and find their wholeness again.
She's going to give Chris the tightest hug he'll allow when she sees him again, whenever that may be and however clothed they may be. For now, she clings to Wolfe, an arm across his chest protectively and a delirious smile on her face as her tears mix with the water falling over them from high above.
"I'm so happy you're here," she whispers above the sound of the spray. "I'm not myself without you anymore. I... I can't be." She can't. She's tried living for herself and it never works without at least one anchor in her life. Wolfe is one of the major anchors in the same way Chris is, and her heart can't even begin to beat properly without them around. She rests her hand on his cheek, just for the contact. "I love you, and I'm so glad we have you again."
We, because even if he's hers, he's as important to Chris and Jon as he is to her, and she'll never try to take that away from any of them.
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He lifts his head at her touch to his cheek, looking down at her as if memorizing her face again, as he'd done when they'd first fallen in love. That is, in fact, what he's doing. It's only been a month but a month is forever when parted against your will and with little else to do but think and wish and want. Carefully, he brushes some of her hair from where it sticks to her face from the water, letting his thumb trace her cheek.
"I can scarcely believe we're really here. That we actually made it. I-" He interrupts himself with a little chuckle. "Nothing I've ever had a hand in planning has ever gone smoothly. Not that getting separated was part of the plan, but getting here. Being out, and more importantly together is..."
Trailing off, Wolfe tries to come up with what it means to him. To be free of Duplicity and everything its done to them, but also of Thedas. The impossibility of it, that they all found each other, all from disparate worlds that are so oddly similar in some cases, but so different too, and now he gets to keep them. His chosen people who have chosen him in turn and dragged him sometimes kicking and screaming into becoming a better version of himself. He doesn't have to take back up the weight of a world that despises him for his gifts because the long shadow of his father's legacy blows out the sun. Its some other Hawke's problem now, and he has Anders to help him through and to protect. They'll be alright.
His chest squeezes at the thought. Its going to take time to let that part go.
"I don't have words. I feel... Light. And like a missing piece has been slotting back into place," he finally says, giving her a small squeeze.
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Maybe that's what Duplicity really is for those copies it places in the city: a way to force change in those people to see what they do about it when they're put through the worst over and over again. It would explain why they hurt her over and over in the same ways, why they took those she loved most or made her physically helpless. Who is the Shadow Mistress if she's alone and unable to take up arms? Who is she when she must learn to rely on those around her by asking for help when she's at her most vulnerable?
It's too big a thought for now, and the fact that it covers some of Wolfe's words upsets her. Now's not the time for that shit. In truth, she hopes the time for such thoughts never comes.
She clings harder to her partner and buries her nose against his chest. They're together again and they've ended up in the plane they said they wanted to finish their lives in. Things are so much more complicated than that because they were separated, as Wolfe said, but their being together means they have everything they need to choose their path. They have no Guardians - to fight or to help them - but also no kingdom to worry over. They have no people to go to on other planes. They have no reason to do anything but stay. That... it's more powerful than the thousands of other paths they could take.
"I know what you mean. My heart... it's still broken by some of what's happened, but I feel like I can pull myself together again. Like I can breathe where I couldn't before." She shakes her head a little, not moving from where she's pushed herself into his side. "I didn't breathe at all while you were gone. People were there and I let them be, but I-I couldn't--"
It doesn't matter. None of it does. This shouldn't be about you right now.
She inhales slowly, breath shaking, then shifts to look up at Wolfe again. "I tried, but even with Chris and the girls, it wasn't enough. And Chris, he..." Her lips pull into a small frown. "I wish I could have done more for him. I already feel like I took advantage of his care at times." When she asked for his arms to cry in without being able to offer anything in return. When she said and did stupid things and he rightfully snapped at her in return. She should have done better by him, for him. Dreams, he deserves so much better than her.
"I'm sorry, love. I... I wasn't strong enough to help us both."
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There might be a small part of him that wants to stall going back out there so Chris doesn't see the new softness around his middle and tease him. Amelia is hopefully too close to notice... This is really not what he should be thinking about right now.
"Everyone grieves differently. Chris is difficult to get close to in his grief. You have to push on it, but if you're grieving yourself, then he almost always pushes first," Wolfe smiles wryly, playing with a strand of Amelia's hair between his fingers. "Whatever bad feeling may still exist there between you over it, it won't last long. Especially not if you tell him what you just told me. I'm sure he knows you weren't in a place to support the both of you. It's something you and I have both noticed, I think, that it becomes harder to ignore ourselves once we stop. It's a process he's going through too."
With a glance at the edge of the screen, Wolfe let's out a breath in more of a worried noise than a sigh. "He's going to take ownership of all of this for a while, Faerun being his world and all. We'll have to make sure he doesn't run himself to the ground and say it's for our sake. He may not be a selfless man, but for people he loves he'll move mountains."
"Just tell him, Love. He only ever just wants to be treated as an equal." It feels good to give advice again, just to talk, even if his voice is growing a little hoarse. He'd not really spoken to anyone much in the last couple weeks. He's going to keep talking anyway, though. A sore throat is a small price to pay to be heard. "It's very hard not to apologize, though, knowing my absence is at the center of that rift."
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"I will. I promise. I'll talk to him and tell him everything I've been feeling." Soon. Right now, she needs to be with Wolfe, to hold him and touch him in ways she's missed so much. She can tell that something's different about him, but the truth is, she doesn't care at this moment. Whatever it is, it can wait. All of it can wait when their day has been so chaotic and they haven't seen each other in weeks. She shifts against him again so she can press their foreheads together as she looks deep into his eyes.
"But don't apologize, love. He won't tolerate it, nor will I." Gently, she brushes his bangs from his face. He looks so tired. "We're going to need you to rest and recover with us before we begin our journey. And..." Her breaths slow, the smile on her lips fading at this next thought. "Can we wait until morning to hear more about what happened to you? I want to know and to help you through it, but after everything else... I'm not certain I can."
As with Chris after Wolfe was taken, she can only take and give so much to her partners at once. Given she's still in her clothes in the shower, it should be obvious she doesn't have much left in her. Today's been one of the hardest and best days of her life all at once.
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For everything to remain stopped for a little bit so they can decide how they're going to wrestle with the idea that they're not exactly who they thought they were.
"As for speaking to what happened, I... I would like very much not to, but it depends on Jon and Chris as well. If they need to know now I don't want to deny them. Its going to hurt just as much now as tomorrow." He sighs, his gaze dropping from examining each strand of color that makes up her irises to the top curve of her cheeks, but not really seeing much more than a blur of color for the proximity. "I don't know which is better."
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cw: mention of nonconsensual sex under the influence of drugs
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cw: PTSD, body horror, death, mild gore
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cw: link leads to an extremely dub-con situation; mild self-harm
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cw: light panic, ptsd
cw: light panic, ptsd
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dirty 20 insight
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cw: minor ptsd moment, paranoia
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