He listens quietly, without making any attempt to interrupt or to even so much as force Anders to make contact. He also listens with much more than his ears.
The magnitude of that is... not lost upon him, but the first sound out of him is still a derisive snort. "That is the most unnecessarily overly dramatic statement I believe that I have ever heard, and I've grown up within politics and nobility." So that's saying something. "I've no desire for you to tear the tower down. Therefore, tearing it down would most certainly not be for me."
He softens after that, rather a lot. Both in posture and in tone. "I have no serious concerns or fears, Anders. Whether it never starts, ends painfully, or the rather narrow space between the two, you will be wanted and I will be fine. You get to decide, because it you who seems most in danger."
He's almost hurt for the snort, until it's more thoroughly explained and he nods, that depreciative smile still in place. "Perhaps it is overdramatic, but it is earnest. I'm sorry if it offends." He doesn't argue about whether it would be for Alaric or not, he knows it would be. Maybe not at this minute, but if something truly threatened Alaric, Anders knew there was little he wouldn't consider to keep him safe. If he let himself think that way. Maker, he shouldn't.
And yet.
He lets himself look at Alaric then and shakes his head. "What makes you say that? I think it's quite the opposite, with no one knowing your specific abilities, they cannot know how rare you are and, thus, how potentially valuable a card in their hand. I and Irving both know how valuable I am to him and Kinloch, I know exactly how free of any hangman's noose or tranquil brand I am likely to be. They'll put me in solitary, whip me till there's no skin on my back, or transfer or hurt everyone I might get close to before I am in any danger."
So long as he didn't run, didn't make himself to be a maleficar, so long as he toed the right lines, he would always be hopelessly fine. "You are in more danger in my radius than out of it."
He quirks a wry grin at that response, though of course he is deeply troubled by the suggestion that anyone was going to whip Anders - and very much did not believe that fit with his idea of 'fine'.
"Two things." He holds one finger up. "First, I can convince nearly anyone to do anything I would like them to do, and make them forget or remember anything that is beneficial to me." Okay, not literally anyone or anything and he has to be very pressed for that to be an option, "and." The second finger, "That isn't the danger I meant." At all, you enormous idiot.
He brought his hand under his chin to look over at his companion. "It's so attractive when you casually threaten promises of impossibly strong mental magics in my presence. I could and might just kiss you for it. I know you're likely far safer than some others here, but I'm afraid you're stuck with some base level of worry from me until Andraste herself comes down from her Husband's side to tell everyone how silly the Circles are or until you're safely bonded with someone worth your time or established yourself as invaluable and loyal to the Circle's delusion. Whatever comes first." Wynne was certainly in no danger of being bonded off against her will, but she'd been eating from the Chantry's palm for years, if she asked for pardon to travel she could, even as an Omega. Anders didn't expect Alaric to have that kind of sway so quickly and, until he did, there'd always be a chance of threat, however small. Some people went their whole lives never suffering under the circle's tyranny, it only took a set of blinders, keeping your head down, and remaining dreadfully compliant.
"For your last point, color me confused because I don't know what danger you mean, then."
He smirks faintly at the remark about Anders being turned on by casual and terrible threats. Very Omega like of him, he's sure.
"Then you will be waiting for the first two, I'm afraid. It is very unlikely that I will establish myself as invaluable." He doesn't like attention, Anders. He has had quite enough of that of various sorts already, thank you. "As for the last - The danger you are in is emotional, and possibly mental. It is not less dangerous for that."
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he recognizes that's what he'd thought Alaric meant He's also not wrong.
He knew himself well enough: he had attractions and crushes, even, but love? It was not something he indulged in...but if he happened to walk into such a thing, it was with both eyes and heart wide open. He'd never once told Karl he loved him, not in those words, but he wouldn't make that same mistake again. Just because you didn't say a thing didn't make it less true.
That wasn't what caught and held his attention now. His gaze turned appraising, watchful, maybe even slightly sharp as he asked, tone soft: "And you wouldn't be? Not at all?"
He frowns when the question is turned around on him, because he can more or less hear the 'real' problem behind the question, in the softness.
"It is very likely that I could care for you a good deal more than I do now - which is quite a lot." Just matter of fact, for all his usual (if different from Anders) avoidance of such talk. "But I am not afraid of it or the outcome. You are."
He wants to feel disappointed, he wants to feel something safer than the relief that comes. This would be so much easier if he could simply believe it would remain one-sided, even allowed time. What a cruel trick of fate to want romance so desperately while knowing it was as ridiculous and painful as sticking your hand in a flame and expecting it not to burn. At least it might be warm for a moment.
"I am afraid of quite a bit. I am afraid of dying and yet I've stood far too close to that edge outside the window and swam across the entire lake wearing fully woolen robes when Winter threatened the temperature of the waters. I did so because the sweetness of feeling freedom outweighed the fear of the Void. It might kill me should something happen to you...but only because having held you was sweet enough to be worth it."
He stands and leans over the table, over Alaric, his hand coming up to take his chin so Anders could angle his face up towards his own. "I can't promise the fear you're sensing will go away, but I can promise regret would never join it."
He blinks at that - not at the hand on his chin or how very easy it would be to kiss Anders, but at the clear headedness and honesty of the answer. The recognition that he may be afraid, but he will do the thing anyway and not regret it.
Nothing has ever told him more about Anders, and it was a solid, hard, shove toward loving Anders. Really, truly, loving him.
His reaction is still that blink, a moment of silence and leaning in to kiss Anders' briefly before matter of factly saying: "Then I'm going with you." There'd be sex, and that would be fine. Better than.
The kiss is easily, readily, returned but there's a near-laugh just after it. Startled, incredulous, but affectionate all the same.
"Such certainty! You know I have to ask for special dispensation and get permission, right? I can't just smuggle you out under my cloak, as much as I may wish to. Not that it would be a problem for me, of course." He knew how to work his silver tongue, it even worked more often than not on Irving, as much of his own snake as he was.
Uncertainty tinged Anders' humor and he released Alaric's chin to trace his fingers over his cheek instead. "Still, I'm not certain if we should...my cycle...in that state, I'm certain I'll be unbearable company, especially towards you. That was perhaps the one benefit of being away when it started. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He was already a bit possessive and certainly protective of Alaric on a good day. A bad one he was sure he'd end up being an asshole Alpha no different than any other.
"...I am very confident in my abilities to get what I want, yes," he says, very dryly. Really, he probably shouldn't be. He is however both a spoiled brat and in possession of some abilities that are a Problem when he has very little reason to weigh morality against them.
He should probably care about more than three people here, with two of them being kitchen staff. It would likely stop him becoming an actual nightmare. ...come to that with the silver tongue and manipulative ability of Anders, both are likely true.
He tilts to the touch and then sharply lifts his eyebrow: "Are you concerned you'll be insufferable to me or brawling with the other people present?" Those are different concerns so clarify, Mister. Immediately said the totally imperious tone.
They were a deadly combination, especially when Anders' morality was already dubious on a good day, but he'd have to care more than he did to be too worried about that right now. Especially when Alaric had another deadly combination that lured Anders no different than a siren's song: those eyes with that ridiculously imperious tone. Who knew he was so attracted to 'bratty?'
"Both? I'll most certainly be defensive and protective, I may be possessive and might insist you stay within sight as often as possible which is far more controlling than I think serves to be pleasant or attractive. I'm...not entirely certain. It's been a number of years since I felt strongly towards anyone and this is different besides. I can only predict myself so much. I do know I tend to get more pushy and rude, by all accounts."
"I am not willing to create a problem for you, with the others or with the real authority here. Otherwise, I find it incredibly endearing that you don't quite realize that you really cannot and likely will not, actually push at me."
He really really needs to adore Anders less. It's uncomfortable and unexpected and -
And he wants to go protect ANDERS while Anders is in rut.
He huffs a laugh and shakes his head. "Just because I wouldn't be successful does not mean I wouldn't be unpleasant...but I'm not nearly strong enough to stop you from coming despite that, only warn you. If you are sufficiently warned...I'll see to it you're allowed to accompany me. There's a number of convenient excuses I could use, plus it is a good experience for a mage to have."
Maybe, with time, Alaric could even prove himself enough to earn his own outings and errands. With accompaniment, of course...the Circle wouldn't let their leash run too lax no matter what good behavior a person had, but he suspected it might be a nice thing for his friend. Some small freedom after losing all of it at once. He'd start some whispers in the right ears if this went well.
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The magnitude of that is... not lost upon him, but the first sound out of him is still a derisive snort. "That is the most unnecessarily overly dramatic statement I believe that I have ever heard, and I've grown up within politics and nobility." So that's saying something. "I've no desire for you to tear the tower down. Therefore, tearing it down would most certainly not be for me."
He softens after that, rather a lot. Both in posture and in tone. "I have no serious concerns or fears, Anders. Whether it never starts, ends painfully, or the rather narrow space between the two, you will be wanted and I will be fine. You get to decide, because it you who seems most in danger."
no subject
And yet.
He lets himself look at Alaric then and shakes his head. "What makes you say that? I think it's quite the opposite, with no one knowing your specific abilities, they cannot know how rare you are and, thus, how potentially valuable a card in their hand. I and Irving both know how valuable I am to him and Kinloch, I know exactly how free of any hangman's noose or tranquil brand I am likely to be. They'll put me in solitary, whip me till there's no skin on my back, or transfer or hurt everyone I might get close to before I am in any danger."
So long as he didn't run, didn't make himself to be a maleficar, so long as he toed the right lines, he would always be hopelessly fine. "You are in more danger in my radius than out of it."
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"Two things." He holds one finger up. "First, I can convince nearly anyone to do anything I would like them to do, and make them forget or remember anything that is beneficial to me." Okay, not literally anyone or anything and he has to be very pressed for that to be an option, "and." The second finger, "That isn't the danger I meant." At all, you enormous idiot.
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"For your last point, color me confused because I don't know what danger you mean, then."
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"Then you will be waiting for the first two, I'm afraid. It is very unlikely that I will establish myself as invaluable." He doesn't like attention, Anders. He has had quite enough of that of various sorts already, thank you. "As for the last - The danger you are in is emotional, and possibly mental. It is not less dangerous for that."
no subject
He knew himself well enough: he had attractions and crushes, even, but love? It was not something he indulged in...but if he happened to walk into such a thing, it was with both eyes and heart wide open. He'd never once told Karl he loved him, not in those words, but he wouldn't make that same mistake again. Just because you didn't say a thing didn't make it less true.
That wasn't what caught and held his attention now. His gaze turned appraising, watchful, maybe even slightly sharp as he asked, tone soft: "And you wouldn't be? Not at all?"
no subject
"It is very likely that I could care for you a good deal more than I do now - which is quite a lot." Just matter of fact, for all his usual (if different from Anders) avoidance of such talk. "But I am not afraid of it or the outcome. You are."
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"I am afraid of quite a bit. I am afraid of dying and yet I've stood far too close to that edge outside the window and swam across the entire lake wearing fully woolen robes when Winter threatened the temperature of the waters. I did so because the sweetness of feeling freedom outweighed the fear of the Void. It might kill me should something happen to you...but only because having held you was sweet enough to be worth it."
He stands and leans over the table, over Alaric, his hand coming up to take his chin so Anders could angle his face up towards his own. "I can't promise the fear you're sensing will go away, but I can promise regret would never join it."
no subject
Nothing has ever told him more about Anders, and it was a solid, hard, shove toward loving Anders. Really, truly, loving him.
His reaction is still that blink, a moment of silence and leaning in to kiss Anders' briefly before matter of factly saying: "Then I'm going with you." There'd be sex, and that would be fine. Better than.
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"Such certainty! You know I have to ask for special dispensation and get permission, right? I can't just smuggle you out under my cloak, as much as I may wish to. Not that it would be a problem for me, of course." He knew how to work his silver tongue, it even worked more often than not on Irving, as much of his own snake as he was.
Uncertainty tinged Anders' humor and he released Alaric's chin to trace his fingers over his cheek instead. "Still, I'm not certain if we should...my cycle...in that state, I'm certain I'll be unbearable company, especially towards you. That was perhaps the one benefit of being away when it started. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He was already a bit possessive and certainly protective of Alaric on a good day. A bad one he was sure he'd end up being an asshole Alpha no different than any other.
no subject
He should probably care about more than three people here, with two of them being kitchen staff. It would likely stop him becoming an actual nightmare. ...come to that with the silver tongue and manipulative ability of Anders, both are likely true.
He tilts to the touch and then sharply lifts his eyebrow: "Are you concerned you'll be insufferable to me or brawling with the other people present?" Those are different concerns so clarify, Mister. Immediately said the totally imperious tone.
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"Both? I'll most certainly be defensive and protective, I may be possessive and might insist you stay within sight as often as possible which is far more controlling than I think serves to be pleasant or attractive. I'm...not entirely certain. It's been a number of years since I felt strongly towards anyone and this is different besides. I can only predict myself so much. I do know I tend to get more pushy and rude, by all accounts."
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He really really needs to adore Anders less. It's uncomfortable and unexpected and -
And he wants to go protect ANDERS while Anders is in rut.
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Maybe, with time, Alaric could even prove himself enough to earn his own outings and errands. With accompaniment, of course...the Circle wouldn't let their leash run too lax no matter what good behavior a person had, but he suspected it might be a nice thing for his friend. Some small freedom after losing all of it at once. He'd start some whispers in the right ears if this went well.