You cannot change what you are, only what you do.

[metalicarus]

The room was too quiet. The only sound that accompanied his thoughts was the ticking of the clock on the wall and that was too loud. It reminded him that time would keep moving even if he sat here, nothing was going to change just because he didn't move and, most of all, time only ever moved onwards.

As much as he may want to, he couldn't wind back the clock and undo what had been done. He didn't regret his decision to fly into space and save his best friend, without him Joe would have drifted forever and none of them would have seen him again, at least now Francoise wouldn't have to cry anymore. But...maybe it would have been better if he hadn't been saved, if he'd just died like he'd been prepared to do. Of course, sitting there, alive, it was harder to find that kind of resolve again. But, in the end, what was the cost of his living?

He looked down at his hands and how his wrists ended in the crease of a panel, the first sign of a difference. His eyes followed up from his wrist to his shoulders and then back down his own chest, creases ran along the surface of his too-pale skin like a web. They were closed now, but he knew it only took a second, a thought, and nearly all of them could flair up, open, or even separate to allow him better maneuverability and speed.

He knew this was like Pyunma, the doctor had only been trying to save him, to make him stronger. But he wasn't like the eighth cyborg, he couldn't have plated armor to defend from hits; he needed to be fast and light and aerodynamic. What he now had in speed and evasiveness he had gained at the cost of the defense he didn't have much of to begin with. He'd always been light on defense and built more for the get in quick and hit hard tactic rather than the barrel through approach for Albert or G, but he felt fragile and he hated it. Logically, he knew he could still take a hit better than most people, but he would have to rely more on not being hit in comparison to what he'd had before.

It was frustrating beyond belief, he didn't want to feel like this...and he certainly didn't want to look like this. He understood now, what his partners had been through and how they felt about being mostly machine. And it sucked. But it was more than even that. He looked up and into the mirror across the room where someone unrecognizable stared back. Blue eyes, finer features, and blonde hair stood out like beacons and he couldn't take his eyes off of them. Part of him thought that maybe, if he looked long enough and hard enough, he'd be able to see something that told him yes this was still Jet Link...but he hadn't found it yet.

Everyone always said it was what was inside that counted, not outside, but when you couldn't recognize anything of yourself, it was like you were in someone else's body, like one of those movies where it's some mistake and by the end of it everything would be back to normal. Except there wasn't an ending like that waiting for him, only blue eyes, blonde hair, and panels.

Comments

[copesetic]

As tempting as it is to allow Jet the immediate satisfaction he's seeking, Albert has other ideas. It's not that he doesn't want Jet to participate - no, he definitely wants that - its simply that he needs a chance to be wholly and completely in charge. Call it megalomania or what you will, but Jet flying off to his death again makes Albert feel pretty helpless. He needs to banish that feeling and this is the simplest, humane way to do it.

Well, maybe not humane...

He indulges the kiss for a long moment, fighting not to drown in it entirely, but catches Jet's hands with his gun arm. He'll remove his pants when he's good and ready, thank you. Singlehandedly, Albert tugs the blonde's hands up behind the blond's head, moving his other hand from the slow caresses he'd been giving in order to sit up and flip Jet bodily onto his stomach underneath him with 002's shoulders propped up on the arm of the couch.

He can't help but smirk a bit as he leans over his prone partner, reaching for the American's tie from its resting place on the nearby chair. He slips the silk under, around, and between Jet's wrists, tying it off deftly but not too tightly. It's enough to get the point across, but not nearly inescapable. Albert may have a bit of a sadistic streak tonight but its still tempered by affection, by finally having Jet back in his arms. Back in his life even. It could be taken as a symbolic gesture, if Jet's so inclined to view it as such. A physical symbol of Albert's desire to keep Jet right where he is.

Though the white-haired cyborg slipping Jet's pants down his thighs is a symbol of another sort of desire. Albert nips and kisses at Jet's ear, pressing against him bodily and pausing only to lick the fingers of his right hand before slipping it back between his partner's legs.

[metalicarus]

Jet had never really begrudged the fact that Albert was the stronger one, it made sense considering what they had been made to do, but he definitely begrudged him now. Albert had always been the one in control when they were together, no matter what the position of the week had been. But that didn't mean Jet had rolled over for him at the drop of a hat, the German had needed to work for it. So he was a bit disgruntled when he suddenly found himself completely unable to give any fight back...although, a treacherous part of him was actually kind of enjoying it and it was that part of him that kept him from escaping the confines of his own tie.

Between the nips, kisses and eventual feeling of probing fingers that pulled some very undignified and aroused noises from him, it took Jet a moment to actually find words to protest. "...Albert...you can't just leave me like this." Well, Jet knew he could, but his hands ached to touch the other cyborg and to participate and he couldn't understand why he wasn't allowed to.

[copesetic]

He can't help but smirk, that self satisfied smirk that Jet had once professed to wanting to smack off his face. "Just shut up and enjoy it."

He won't tell the other man that this is his form of revenge, that hearing Jet beg for release will make him feel better about being left behind and missing all that time. It's ludicrous if he thinks about it too hard, so saying it is out of the question.

If Jet really wanted out, really didn't want this at all, the American had never been shy about voicing his dislike, and the tie was hardly an ample hold. Yet even as Albert stroked and started planting kisses one by one down the man's spine, Jet did nothing to attempt an escape, just keened and shifted under Albert's ministrations.

Damn but he can't get enough of those sounds. Honestly it just makes him want to drag this out longer, deny himself just for the sake of hearing Jet pant and groan, maybe even beg.

The kisses turn to bushes of teeth and tongue as he moves lower, the German nipping at what he knows to be real flesh at Jet's hips rather than the synthetic kind that covers metal instead of muscle. He takes a moment to suck, hard, leaving an angry red mark in pale flesh. He'd be loathe to call it a brand of ownership but privately Albert deigns it so and plants another, quite gentle kiss over the mark, waiting bemusedly for Jet's complaints over such treatment.

[metalicarus]

He definitely was not pouting at Albert's response, he was just put-out that this was the game his partner wanted play. Jet liked to touch and tease Albert and the fact that that was off limits was a bit frustrating...not that he could truly complain about the attention he was receiving. Especially since it had been a long time since he'd been with anyone.

Part of him wanted to be difficult and keep silent in protest but, try as he might, he wasn't being very successful; the best he'd managed was trying to muffle the sounds with the arm of the couch. It was the unexpected (but thoroughly enjoyed) bite that drags an un-stifled sound from him. It's quickly followed by a bit of a growl as he tries to fight the angle he was in to look back at Albert. "Didn't realize I was sleeping with a dog. This rough treatment how you intend to play things?" Not...that he'd...actually mind if it was, but still!

[copesetic]

"You fell from space twice and a hickey is rough treatment?" Excuse him while he snorts in amusement, finally getting around to removing his own loose pajama bottoms. He presses himself against Jet's backside, not entering just yet and instead placing his gun hand on Jet's marked hip and the other winding its fingers back around the blond's hardened self. He grinds up against his partner, giving a hard - though not painfully so - pump with his hand as he moves his hips.

Albert sucks in a breath between his teeth as he finishes the movement, not expecting it to feel just that good. He wants Jet to actually ask for it so he'd refrained from simply going at it but damn if it isn't tempting. So damned tempting.

He moves again, the exact same way but slower, savoring it and the subsequent sounds the man under him makes in reaction.

[metalicarus]

He was really making a valiant effort not to make a sound but it was easier said than done, especially when Albert was so close. He groaned, his frustration at both himself and his partner in his voice. He didn't want to give in this easily, but it was obvious he was going to lose the battle sooner than normal.

Albert's hand on him, moving like that, pulled what could have been mistaken for a yelp from the blond and his hands clenched in their silken binds. Fine. Fine. If that was what got this sexual torment to end, then he would just have to suck up his pride. Besides, in the long run, this was less about pride and more about finding their way together again, right? He hoped. He was really too lost in the moment to think on it much. "Dammit, Albert, will you just do me already?"

[copesetic]

Normally the white-haired cyborg would make some sardonic comment about showing his guest hospitality but he finds he doesn't really want to play that game right now. He doesn't regret how things have gone thus far; Jet writhing and wanting is a sight to see, but even as Jet asks for it - or demands it, rather, but that's basically the same thing for Jet - Albert finds he's more looking forward to the closeness than the release.

Carefully, slipping both hands to Jet's hips for leverage, he slides inside, letting out a slow, vaguely shuttering breath at the tight heat. He pauses then, allowing Jet to adjust, but not before leaning over the blond and planting much lighter kisses on his shoulders and spine. Not like the voracious, hungry kisses before; these are affectionate and sweet.

[metalicarus]

He didn't have to wait long to get what he wanted. Albert pushing into him sent shocks up his spine and made him arch his back a bit in response. He didn't bother trying to stifle himself this time as the pleasure hit him sooner than he'd expected. It wasn't just physical pleasure though.

The fact that his body was adjusting quickly matched with those soft and loving kisses being peppered along his back just made it feel like there hadn't been such an extreme gap of time between them and that just sent a warmth through him that had everything to do with the man at his back.

"Albert..." He didn't even realize he was saying anything until the he heard it, laced in a soft tone that hadn't been there only moments before. He pressed his hips back as best he could, a silent plea for more, to be closer to the only person who made him feel like this.

[copesetic]

Hearing his name so gently breathed into the room sends a thrill through Albert. It hasn't been as long for him; there were trysts, one night stands just for he hell of it, trying to get on with his life and do what people did, but in true 004 form he'd never revealed his full name. It was his number, or his last name to keep distance, but Jet who knows all three and calls him by his first...

The German is more than happy to give Jet what he wants, what they both want, and he starts moving at a brisk pace, holding Jet's hips in place with one hand as he moves, the other hand returning to give attention to Jet's own arousal, not wanting to leave the other cyborg unfulfilled in that way either.

After only a few short moments, Albert decides this isn't close enough, not nearly. He pauses, shifting backwards and hooking his arm around Jet's waist to pull him into a sitting position in the German's lap, consequently driving himself deeper and letting out a heady gasp against Jet's back, holding him close and breathing hard right against the American's spine. He presses his face against that flesh, kissing and biting and still moving his hand on Jet while the other holds the younger man against him, metallic palm and fingers splayed out against pale synthetic flesh.

[metalicarus]

A thrill rushed through him when Albert finally moved and decided against stifling himself for the rest of the evening, it just wouldn't be possible. He moved as Albert directed and could feel the German slide deeper into his body causing those pleasured sounds to only get louder. Albert's breath on his spine sent shivers through his body and he decided he'd finally had enough of the 'no touching' rule that had been put on him at first.

He maneuvered his hands out from the blue silk's hold and threw the tie to the ground, forgotten the moment it was off his skin. One of his hands splayed out over the hand on his torso while the other sought desperate purchase on the older man's side, hip, other hand, anything that he could grab onto.

[silberfuchs]

The contact of fingers on his and Jet's hand groping to find purchase makes Albert chuckle, a warm noise from deep in his throat. He's surprised his partner lasted that long with his hands tied. He knows Jet to be incredibly tactile and forcing him to keep his hands to himself had been a form of punishment, but he feels sorry for it now. Sorry the he denied himself one of the things he loved most about this sort of activity with Jet. It's just how much the blond clutches and clings and holds on as if for dear life, how invested and carried away he gets. How wanted and moreover accepted it makes Albert feel.

He curls his fingers around Jet's, capturing them in a measure of hold that's not painful but definitely secure and affectionate even as he picks up the pace with his hips. He's getting close and he's fairy certain Jet can't take much more with the shivers that he can feel running through the thinner man's frame. Albert pulls his other arm around his partner's waist, taking that groping hand with it and holding it just like the first. The German pants and groans against his back, still jostling Jet up and down in his lap but keeping his arms tight around him. "Jet..."

[metalicarus]

He felt like he was surrounded. Albert's arms wrapped tightly around him, his breath at Jet's spine, hearing his name in that voice he'd come to love more than any other, it was like there was nothing left but him and Albert and he couldn't find anything wrong with that.

He could tell he was close and he was pretty certain Albert was too. He moved his hips in time with his lover's movements in an effort to help them both reach the edge that much sooner. "Al-!" The slight change caused him to gasp and his whole body to tense, his hands clenching tightly around the metal ones on his body.

[silberfuchs]

He's not sure how long that peak lasts. It feels like an instant and an eternity all at once, but in its wake comes a form of clarity that Albert's waited nearly three decades to regain. He slumps a bit, cheek resting on Jet's back and arms still loosely holding the other man against him. It's nice, the coolness of Jet's synthetic skin against his cheek. He'd never had time to get used to that, not before Jet had gone, but he savors it now. Maybe it isn't the same shell as before, this one of metal instead of honest flesh, but it's still Jet, it's still precious and comforting.

He plants a light kiss again in the middle of Jet's back, so certain now that this had been the right decision, that letting Jet back in is the right thing. He can't stay closed off forever. He doesn't want to. With Jet here, he doesn't need to.

This is the world he'd wished for, silently, while Francoise had made her own wish. This was the foolish little hope he kept clinging to despite all his wealth of experience stacked against it. This is home. This is peace.

Albert curls his fingers more securely in Jet's, a silent thanks for staying.

[metalicarus]

At first, he couldn't think of anything, everything was purely feelings and sensations as he felt them both tumble over that edge he'd been aiming for. In an instant the loneliness and the seeming cold of the last several years were overshadowed by warmth and love and the familiar feeling of being with the most important person in his world. He hadn't felt this safe and secure since that moment, years ago now, when he lay in Albert's arms after waking up in this new body.

His heart panged with the feeling of loss that spiked up when he thought of all the years they'd wasted being petty and stubborn and how it had been mostly his fault, not completely, but mostly. He wasn't going to let any of that ruin anything again, he was going to make it up to Albert and he wasn't going to be so stupid as to leave the arms that made him feel human and accepted again.

With a quiet but shuddering breath, Jet slowly moved and changed positions so he could face the older cyborg. He pushed the German into leaning back against the couch and pulled the blanket--that had long since fallen to the floor--up and around both of their shoulders as he settled back onto his partner's lap. One of his hands sought the other's once more as he silently peppered Albert's jaw, chin, and lips with light and simple kisses. He felt a bit like he should say something, like there was something that needed to be shared, but his words had failed him a while ago and he was left with only his actions and the desire to remain as close to Albert as possible.

[silberfuchs]

A slow breath escapes Albert and all the remaining dregs of his misgivings go with it. He pulls Jet in close again after the blanket is retrieved, smiling gently at the attention the younger man gives him, little kisses, all loving and honest. He returns the gesture with a slow kiss of his own, chaste and warm, before cradling the back of Jet's head with his hand and guiding him to laying with his head on Albert's shoulder.

"I do have a bed you know." It's an amused comment, said with the obvious knowledge that they likely wouldn't be using it that night. The couch is good enough, even if Jet has to pull his legs in tightly to avoid hanging off the end. It's so perfectly ordinary, something that could happen to anyone else, that it gives the silver-haired cyborg a warm feeling in his chest.

He makes no move to get up, simply adjusting the blanket around them and loosely dropping his arms to hold Jet once more, fingers resting lightly on the plates of his mid and lower back. He lets his eyes drift shut, focusing on how this feels. On how good and right it feels to have his partner, the person he loves, back in his arms.

He rubs small, light circles with his thumb, slowly tapering off as Albert drifts to sleep.