makinglies | Dragon Age: Inquisition: Anders Inquisitor AU

Anders' expression sobers, a business-like seriousness he'd only recently discovered he could slip into with ease. The red lyrium was troubling, maybe Leliana's people could find something out about it, maybe Josephine could use her contacts to discover just how wide-spread this 'infection' was. But then there were the Wardens...surely Cullen's scouts could find out the location, maybe even report back any suspicious findings. One thing was for certain, however: Leliana was correct to worry about them.

His thoughts veered off with Hawke's question and his eyes snapped back up to look at his partner. Out of anyone in this camp, Hawke at least ought to know what now only Anders and Blackwall knew.

"No, I'm not. Something happened after I came out of the Fade, I don't know if it had anything to do with that woman or not, but I can't hear the Calling, I can't sense Darkspawn, I can't sense other Wardens. I'm not a Grey Warden anymore, Adalwolfe. The Taint is gone.

Silence reigns, Adalwolfe looking at the space in between them as opposed to Anders himself. That news has to set in somehow, beyond the tumult of emotion Wolfe had been choking on for the last several days. It's still there, even with his physical proof that Anders is here, and if not safe than at least sound. As sound as he ever is. Does this count as something that just happened to Anders, or something that he caused to happen to him in his going to the Conclave?

Moreover, he doesn't trust the news, good though it appears to be. He can never trust good news, not unless its slight. Fresh pastries in the morning, a rabbit in their hunting trap on the road, those are benefits he can swallow in a long life of awful, but something that could easily tilt the scales even with the death and battle that's dogged him all the while in Kirkwall, in Ferelden? This he doesn't trust because he didn't fight for it, wasn't there to see it done. He's just hearing about it now and instead of light it makes him uneasy, as if someone is standing just out of sight with a crossbow to strike while he's distracted.

Whatever the case, Adalwolfe doesn't know what to feel for the moment. He nods slowly, carefully, hesitant in a way that he never is. "You're... certain?"

Anders scoffed lightly and shook his head. "Not entirely, no. I was never a very good Grey Warden, it could be something else entirely...but, at the same time, I know it's not. I know it's gone. I can't explain it to you, the evidence I have could be worse, but I have no test I could take to prove it to you."

Anders finally moved and went to one of the windows to look out at the glistening snow, now growing dimmer as the sun began to set. "The nightmares aren't about Darkspawn, there's no ear-splitting cry of an Archdemon and, more-over, that song is gone." A small chuckle escaped him and as faint as it was, it wasn't without humor. "And, on top of all that, I got tired traipsing around Haven the other day. So I really do think it's gone." He turned back to Hawke with a lopsided smile. "Maybe I simply had too many qualifiers and one of them had to go, can't be a possessed apostate spirit healer, a renegade grey warden, the most hated revolutionary of this age, and...whatever I am now."

'Herald of Andraste.' He felt about that title about how his worst critics did.

"I don't know, there's others with more titles than that. Take your Leliana for example. Or Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast, Princess of Nevarra, Hero of Orlais, Right Hand of the Divine." Varric may have been fairly specific in his initial letter warning them about the Seeker looking for Wolfe. If Adalwolfe didn't know any better, he might have thought Varric was font of this Cassandra in that he was so interested in her personal details.

Adalwolfe resettles himself against the chair, not regretting that earlier sudden need for contact but certainly regretting that they hadn't used the bed instead. The floor is cold and he's getting too old to make getting back up any easier. "Maybe your mark is drowning it out but it still worries me, especially if the Wardens as a whole are still hearing it. If all the Wardens go at once..."

He trails off, not wanting to follow that train of thought but certain that Anders knows where it leads regardless.

Anders looks back over to Hawke and moves to his side again. He reaches down with both hands to help hoist his boyfriend back up off the floor. Once he's up, Anders' arm wraps behind Hawke's hips and his hand curls at the side of his lover's neck.

"I didn't tell you about going to the conclave because I didn't want you hurt or arrested by association with me, I knew you'd want to protect me no matter the cost and I feel the same way about you, I wanted you safe, even if it meant I'd never see you again. But you're here now, love. You came to find me even still, I'll continue to worry for your safety and whatever danger might come calling for you even with the Inquisition, but we are together now. If there's one thing I've learned over the past three years of it only being the two of us, it's that we can weather anything that comes for us. Even the Wardens. Even whatever this mark is, even the damn Calling if we need to."

He leaned in to kiss Adawolfe, both of their lips a little rough and chapped from the cold, but it was still gentle and slow. Anders didn't feel half as confident as his words conveyed, but he hoped he could at least half convince Wolfe and maybe it would convince himself the rest of the way too.

He pulled away and pressed their foreheads together. "What do you say? Will you stay with me, even with these new perils?" His lips quirked up in a slim smirk. "Or, I suppose, we could run away together, slip out and escape this new responsibility." They wouldn't, Hawke was like Anders in that way, if someone needed help, they'd be there. Unfortunately, the 'someone' here was the entirety of Thedas, Maker save them. Besides, Leliana's people would spot them before they made it to the wilder parts of Haven to be sure, that woman was terrifyingly sharp.

It's the same weak argument and Adalwolfe just sighs as Anders gives it again. He can't protect Hawke, that's something that Adalwolfe has always thought was true even if he's rarely said anything of the sort. He doesn't mean in battle, but protecting him from perception, protecting him from the masses that already know what happened thanks to Varric's book. They're already in this together but Anders can never seem to see it. Instead he just tries to smile, tries to carry on with the bits that he doesn't see a need to argue with. Yes he will protect Anders no matter the cost, yes Anders feels the same. They want each other safe.

He'd fight every darkspawn himself if it means keeping Anders from his Calling. He lets that feeling fuel the heat of the kiss, much warmer than the weather outside.

"You know full well I'm not going anywhere now that I've got you again. We can't run, either. People will die, of demons from these rifts or worse. Do we even know what caused the explosion at the Conclave?"

Try as he might, he can tell his words fell short and he supposed it was inevitable they would. There was a new break between them he could feel, similar to those weeks and months after Kirkwall but, thankfully, not nearly as wide and deep. They needed some time. Anders had abandoned Hawke without warning, likely to be arrested or killed or worse and he'd intended to let Hawke find out second hand.

He tries to let the thought drift back away from the front of things where it felt more desperate and focused on the question instead.

Anders' expression twisted into frustrated confusion as he pulled away again and looked to his hand, the green glow raising up again from the jagged mark on his palm. "We don't know. If I saw it, I can't remember it. Solas says he doesn't believe it was any sort of magic we might recognize, but it was too massive and too...destructive to be anything man-made. Maker, at least, I hope not."

A shudder ran through him as the memories of the twisted and still-burning victims of the Conclave seared through his mind. "I'm hoping..I don't know, maybe there will be some clue when we finally, fully, close the rift."

Edited 2017-04-18 21:37 (UTC)

"My first though was Qunari Blackpowder but even that wouldn't cause a tear in the Fade," Hawke muses, letting that white lie sound like the truth. It was his second thought, the first being that Anders had actually done it. He'd wrestled with that for some time, trying to point out that Anders wouldn't destroy the free mages who went to the Conclave like that, especially not after whatever happened at the previous one at the White Spire. Trying to tell himself that Anders' goal here was to atone, not further push the conflict. They'd stayed out of it for the last year, once all the Circles they could get to had been freed or dealt with. But a traitorous part of him, the part that looks at things too logically and focuses on the dark parts of men's natures, thought that maybe Anders' - or Vengeance's - anger was too great and had finally consumed him.

He lets that go, watching the thought sink under the proverbial bridge like so many other things.

"I'm coming with you when you do, obviously. One more mage to help with Fade stuff is going to be an asset. I'm sure I can make my case to that lot." He waves his hand in the vague direction of the Chantry building, referring to the women who had been in audience when he'd marched in. Cullen hardly counts; they'd already established long ago that his authority means virtually nothing to Hawke.

Anders gives a small, tight smile.

"You don't need to convince anyone. Leliana and Josephine are very practical and they'll see the benefit of having you along. Cassandra hardly counts as well, she's been wanting you here from day one, don't be surprised if she asks for your opinion. The Commander' opinion doesn't really matter in this either, he doesn't dictate who I take with me where. Really, his role is just to deal with the army, not whatever I do."

For once. It's a sour thought that darkens his expression for a moment but he releases it intentionally and takes a deep breath to steady the wave of...negativity that surges up in the back of his mind.

Being around Cullen was difficult for more than one reason. For one, they didn't agree on quite a few things that they both felt passionate about. For another thing, a lot of the bad Anders could remember, from Kinloch Hold to Kirkwall, was stirred up and brought to the forefront whenever he saw the former Templar. It often caused Justice to surge in him and make him feel like a continual hum was vibrating his head and chest.

Despite their history, they'd actually managed to remain civil to each other. At least so far. But that didn't mean they'd spent a significant amount of time 'hanging out' either. Anders had swung by the training grounds a few times to talk, and some of their conversations had even been about something other than the Inquisition...but only perhaps twice.

"I wish it didn't, but the Inquisition will need your help, Hawke." Maker, he wished it didn't, it would put Hawke in more danger and bring back the need for the Champion of Kirkwall. The Champion of Kirkwall and the Herald of Andraste...even if the Inquisition didn't need the Champion, they'd be getting him while Anders was there. It was his own fault Hawke was in danger again.

"Naturally," Adalwolfe waves a hand, pronouncing the word loftily as if he doesn't have any doubts when in actuality he can't imagine why anyone would want him to lead anything. Every time anyone ever brings up that notion he has to wonder if the world's gone mad. Though now, with a glowing green crack in the sky, maybe it has.

The silence after that word goes on just a little bit too long and Wolfe clears his throat.

"Should I return you to your retainers? Or do you think they expect us to be a bit longer?" His hand returns to Anders' side, slipping under his coat to do it. Wolfe has always thought the round-ring fastenings on Anders' coat were hardly practical to keeping out the chill, but with his ability to creep his hands easily inside said coat, he does find them practical for other things. Not that he feels particularly amorous at the moment, it's just... how Anders left, how he'd thought his love dead, a charred body among many. Adalwolfe needs this, he needs to feel Anders solidly beside him, under his hands, taking up space in his life so know that there isn't just a hole there that's molded to his shape.

"You can introduce me properly to your Inquisition later," he whispers against Anders' neck, pressing a kiss to the soft skin there and warming it from the mountain's cold with his breath.

'Your Inquisition' are some of the most terrifying words he's ever heard. It was Leliana's and Cassandra's Inquisition. Being 'The Herald of Andraste' was the only thing he could think of that scared him more and he'd had no say in it. Blessed and cursed in equal measure...he might not wish Wolfe here, but Maker save them, he didn't think he could do this without him, either.

"They can wait. They can't decide who to approach next...but they know who I would choose." His voice drifted off, already a little breathy under Hawke's lips as Anders tilted his head back for easier access. This first. He needed this first and then he could put his mind back to their efforts. Redoubled with his love at his side.

The kiss is sweet and almost chaste for how Wolfe pulls away just after to furrow his brow at Anders. "Approach for help? I'm surprised all of Thedas hasn't sent some sort of-"

He cuts himself off, the reminder of just what sort of world they live in catching up with him all at once. "Nevermind, I'm not actually that surprised. Who's on the list, then?"

Anders can't help the slight flare of disappointment when Wolfe pulls away. He was more than ready to not think about business for a while, but he knew his love, he'd be too distracted by wanting to know what field they were on before anything more intimate could come up. Besides, Anders hardly deserved it considering the stress he'd put Hawke under.

He leaned in for another (selfish) kiss, then took Wolfe by the hand so they could sit at the small table in the cabin. Even once they were sitting, however, he didn't release Wolfe's hand.

"You'd think they'd want help, considering the sky is broken, but it seems people are ever as impractical. For that hole in the sky, the others think we should either approach the rebel mages to pour more magic into the mark so that it's strong enough to close the rift, or approach the templars holed up in their corners to weaken the magic in the rift itself." Anders sighed a bit, that weight that had settled on him since he'd woken up and walked outside to find half of Haven staring at him, settling back in. "Cullen has a point, the templars likely could accomplish such a thing, but the fact I'd be the one approaching them when I'm the most hated mage in all of Thedas makes the idea laughable. I suspect they know it's not workable, but considering we have so few avenues of aid, they don't want to take it entirely off the table."

If they'd even make the decision. This group...they debated and argued so much...it seemed the only thing they'd managed to -barely- agree on, was to include him in the decision making instead of just sending him where they needed him. He had a sinking suspicion the decision would end up in his hands in the end anyway.

"If they're really as Maker-fearing as they say they are, they'll follow you if you're Andraste's Herald." He says this with irony, knowing that templars aren't so much Maker-fearing as mage-fearing on the whole. "No, the mages would be better. They'll listen to you, first of all. Or some of them anyway. And it could earn them amnesty and a chance to show they can use their magic to serve man in the spirit of the Chant and not the Chantry."

Wolfe lets that sink in for a moment, lets the conversation go back to the cause. Yes there are more pressing matters in that the sky has cracked open and Maker knows what is seething green on the other side, but that doesn't mean they can't try to help in such a way as to further their endeavor as well. Anders is in a position to do so much more good then they ever could even when they were traveling the Marches and further to push Circles to join the rebellion. A rebellion that's gotten more mages killed than saved, if Adalwolfe has any true guess. Maybe this Inquisition can bring a peace with it.

There's not just that either. He wants Carver far away from this and were the Templars called to help, he knows his brother would be first in line to heed the call. Not through any sort of chase for glory - not anymore - but because it's what should be done for the good of all. Bless him, but he'd not see the danger. No, best leave him out to sea with Isabela chasing whatever lie they'd come up with to get him to go. Best keep the Templars out of notoriety altogether lest word get back to the younger Hawke and spur him to seek out the Inquisition himself. Maker's breath, that might be the end of Adalwolfe if it came to pass.

It's the right thing to ask the mages even without his personal doubts, but he can't help the bit of nagging doubt that wonders if they really do need Templars to fight against magic in this case... and the stakes are too high to fail.

He weaves his fingers between Anders', rubbing his thumb against the freckles on the back of his love's hand. "Who's leading the rebel mages now?"

"Enchanter Fiona. She has a good head on her shoulders and she's been a voice of reason in the circles for some time now. There's also a rumor she has some history of working with the Wardens for something, but I don't know how much of that is true. Jospehine said she'd look into it."

The thought reminded him of Blackwall and, consequently, Leliana's concern about the Warden's involvement with the Conclave. He almost wished Blackwall was a true Warden, if only for the insight he could provide. Anders had told him he would keep the secret as long as Blackwall eventually told him why he was even keeping it someday, but he wondered if Hawke actually had to count in that. Maybe later, if it even mattered.

"When I go back in there, if they still haven't made a decision, I'll make it for them. We were technically invited there by Fiona, unlike the templars who closed the door in our faces in Val Royeaux, so it makes the most sense. Even beyond my personal preferences. Besides, the Warden-Commander mentioned Arl Emon was a very reasonable man and she helped them before, perhaps the Warden angle will come in handy."

Which...was another thing...the taint. He should mention that too, there was no way Wolfe would know just by looking at him. Maybe he'd be able to pick it up in the coming nights as Anders' sleep went uninterrupted by nightmares of blight and darkspawn, but it would likely be more appreciated as something told than discovered. It was just a matter of how. So far, only Leliana and Blackwall even knew.

"It should, especially in Ferelden considering it's your Warden Commander's accomplishment that the country is even still standing." Wolfe leans back in his chair, his free arm perched along the back while leaving his other hand still entwined with Anders'. "Varric mentioned the Seeker was looking for the Hero of Ferelden alongside me in his letter. Did she find her?"

He's curious to meet her actually. Has been ever since he learned her surname was the same as his, and a mage to boot. He'd always assumed his and Bethany's magic had come from their father but if it had come from the nobility side instead... well, it doesn't really mean anything honestly, but it is a curious coincidence that he's interested in finding out more about. He doesn't expect the the Seeker has located the Warden though, otherwise she'd likely be here.

"Nevermind, she likely would have been in the chantry with the others if she'd been here so my guess is no. As for Enchanter Fiona, it's probably best to stop dallying and make the trek to Redcliff before the war gets someone killed. I propose you march back into that room and use your newfound authority to do some good."

You know. In a minute. When he can bring himself to let go of his love's hand.

Just as Wolfe was going back on the question, Anders shook his head. Cassandra hadn't been successful in finding Warden-Commander Amell, just as she hadn't had a clue how to find Hawke himself. She'd tried to press it out of Anders himself, even, but he'd been steadfast in his refusal to give Wolfe over to the Seeker. Even once she'd sweared she only want to contact him for the good of Thedas, he hadn't budged. Wolfe was here now, but Anders still hoped his old commander and friend could stay out of this. She deserved some peace, they both did.

"Yes, you're probably right. We had to dispatch both the mages and templars fighting on the king's road through the Hinterlands, just to make the land safe again for those uninvolved. I don't want to keep seeing that bloodshed."

He could feel the surge in him that pressed for action. The need for that direction, briefly set aside by Hawke's arrival, now back in the center with Wolfe's own support. Justice couldn't abide by this any more than he could. Clearing out the rebel mage encampment had been painful, but even when he'd demanded their peace, they hadn't listened, so desperate to fight any who crossed their path. Even one of their own.

Anders nodded and stood. "I'll go now. There'll still be a day of preparation before we leave. I should go now to ensure we can leave as soon as possible. Thank you, love." For showing up, for granting this moment of reprieve, for putting him back on the path he should be on.

Dragon Age: Inquisition: Anders Inquisitor AU

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