Bucky Barnes | Victor of District 10 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hollowvictor) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
makinglies2015-03-27 03:59 pm
hollowvictor) wrote in makinglies2015-03-27 03:59 pm
Entry tags:
Throwing stones at the window
It had been his suggestion. The idea for having moles in the Capitol was no a new one and, already, they'd started contacting people they knew they could trust and planting the ones they still needed. Most of them other people took care of, this one Bucky wanted to handle himself. He didn't have time to think about the Capitol or anyone else in it, once he'd snuck into the city, it was about going unnoticed as he went through the streets and located her building. Security was nonexistent as he climbed the stairs to her floor and easily found himself outside her door. None of that was the hard part.
Now he had to knock.
Dressed in dark clothes with a long jacket that had a hood he could pull over and hide the top part of his face, he probably looked fairly sinister, so standing outside a single woman's apartment probably wasn't the best idea long-term, but his arms suddenly felt like lead, like there wasn't enough force in the world that he could dredge up to knock.
Three years. He wondered how much she'd changed, if she'd punch him or hug him upon discovering he was alive...or would she simply slam the door back in his face and refuse to speak with him? He supposed he deserved any reaction from her. Hell, if she pushed him out her window to his death he'd probably deserve that too. He'd ruined both of their lives...he wondered if she ever found out it was his fault. He'd barely been in District 10 five minutes before he found out they'd taken Steve and he'd gone running off to get some answers with his fists, resulting in his imprisonment. Did she see him punch that Peacekeeper? Did she know the real reason he'd been locked away? He knew one thing: she thought he was dead. Just like Steve was.
Sometimes he wished he was. Right now, it would be kinder than what he was about to do to her.
He pushed his hood off his head and raised his hand, hesitating only once before knocking. Very carefully, he schooled his expression into neutral, hoping to spare her the fear and hope and concern and care that rushed in him at the thought of her.
Now he had to knock.
Dressed in dark clothes with a long jacket that had a hood he could pull over and hide the top part of his face, he probably looked fairly sinister, so standing outside a single woman's apartment probably wasn't the best idea long-term, but his arms suddenly felt like lead, like there wasn't enough force in the world that he could dredge up to knock.
Three years. He wondered how much she'd changed, if she'd punch him or hug him upon discovering he was alive...or would she simply slam the door back in his face and refuse to speak with him? He supposed he deserved any reaction from her. Hell, if she pushed him out her window to his death he'd probably deserve that too. He'd ruined both of their lives...he wondered if she ever found out it was his fault. He'd barely been in District 10 five minutes before he found out they'd taken Steve and he'd gone running off to get some answers with his fists, resulting in his imprisonment. Did she see him punch that Peacekeeper? Did she know the real reason he'd been locked away? He knew one thing: she thought he was dead. Just like Steve was.
Sometimes he wished he was. Right now, it would be kinder than what he was about to do to her.
He pushed his hood off his head and raised his hand, hesitating only once before knocking. Very carefully, he schooled his expression into neutral, hoping to spare her the fear and hope and concern and care that rushed in him at the thought of her.
no subject
Peggy heard him speak. What she heard was a story. A fairytale. What she heard was idealism bringing about the final extinction of their species.
She didn't care. Any species that had to depend on this kind of suffering to survive deserved to burn. She would be happy to help light the match.
"I'd like to see it one day. District 13." She doubted she would be able to, though. The Capitol would kill her when they found out what she was doing. If it took this much effort for Bucky to even talk to her, she doubted they would have the resources to save her life. That was okay. She would be glad to die for this.
Just like that, he was ready to go. Ready to waltz into her life, turn it upside down, and to waltz back out without so much as an answer to the question why. Why hadn't he stayed with them?
Why had she not been enough to keep him there?
She stared down at the radio. It was easier to look at than his back turning to her. A part of her was crying inside. Another part wanted him gone as fast as possible. There were questions running through her head, but none of them made it to her mouth. Instead, she just said, "be careful on your way back."
She forced herself to look at him when she said that. She owed it to herself to look at him.